nowadays the way many people intract with each other has changed because of technology. in what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? has this become a positive or negative development?
The mode of
comminucating
among Correct your spelling
communicating
individuals
has been impacted by technology
. Different platforms
and applications have made profound changes in types
of Correct article usage
the types
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
people
make. In my opinion, these changes can be considered a negative development
.
Obviously, people
's interactions in
all around the world have varied. The increasing number of Change preposition
apply
individuals
is more engaging with a
diverse Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
types
of platforms
like Skype, Google meet
and other apps. Capitalize word
Meet
Technology
especially social media
and messaging apps, has made it difficult to trust on
Change preposition
apply
people
. As it is common to pretend being
a person who you are not in real life and Change the verb form
to be
also
to put a mask on your real personality, trusting on
Change preposition
apply
people
via social media
is harmful. For example
, you have found a friend in an app, you talked to her for a while
then
realizing
her profile is fake. Wrong verb form
realised
Therefore
, your friendship is spoiled. The ways that technology
has affected types
relationships
can be summarized by the influence of different social Change preposition
of relationships
platforms
, making people
appear untrustworthy in each other's eyes.
Making unreliable relationships
and because of its flashy contents, preventing people
from visiting each other face to face and finally
getting depressed would be likely consequences of this
development
. So it is better to consider as
a negative Correct pronoun usage
it as
development
. Facilitated ways for
communicating Change preposition
of
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
people
feel isolated and neglected because instead
of making a lot of casual acquaintances, individuals
are getting used to temporary friendships. They may make a lot of friends in a day, however
, many of them are just fake accounts. Thus
, not only people
do not have permanent relationships
but also
they cannot trust friends knowing
them via social Change the verb form
to know
media
and other platforms
.
In conclusion, technology
has significantly transformed the way people
form relationships
. Technology
has made a sweeping change in individuals
' types
of relationship
via social Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
media
. In my opinion, this
is a negative development
because it made
Wrong verb form
makes
relationships
unreliable.Submitted by ghorabibita on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which is great. However, try to structure your body paragraphs more logically. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea. Currently, your points seem a bit scattered which may affect the reader's understanding.
Task Achievement
While you have addressed the question fully, ensuring that you support your main points with specific examples can enhance your argument. For instance, when you mention the consequences of people becoming more isolated, provide real-life examples or studies to support your point.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your ideas are clear and you have a coherent argument. However, you may benefit from elaborating on your ideas a bit more. Each main point should be thoroughly explained and supported with examples. This will help make your argument stronger and your essay more comprehensive.
General
Remember to proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors and word choice. Phrases like "trust on people" should be "trust in people." Small mistakes can add up and affect the overall readability of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively.
Task Achievement
Your response addresses the task question completely, discussing both the ways technology has affected relationships and whether this is a positive or negative development.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...