Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Wealthy
nations
often provide some financial assistance to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries that are facing economic difficulties,
however
, the approach does not effectively address the root causes of
proverty
Correct your spelling
poverty
. As far as I
concerned
Add a missing verb
am concerned
show examples
, I strongly agree that richer
nations
should offer other forms of support, as more comprehensive methods are needed to truly help these countries. There are several reasons why I argue against those
nations
donate
Wrong verb form
donating
show examples
money
to the poor
nations
.
Firstly
, donating
money
does not provide any help to the development of
ecomomic
Correct your spelling
economics
.
This
policy is seen as window dressing and
also
not practical, it can only offer temporary aid.
For instance
, America donated
money
to Haiti, at the beginning , the
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
was showing improvement,
however
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however,
show examples
when the relief fund
had
Verb problem
was
show examples
exhausted, they
backed
Verb problem
returned
show examples
to where they started,
means
Correct pronoun usage
which means
show examples
that they are still poor.
Moreover
, to exaggerate
further
, the destination of the funds, it can not be
ensure
Wrong verb form
ensured
show examples
that the
money
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
being used for helping the poor,maybe it
fall
Correct subject-verb agreement
falls
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into the hands of corrupt
officiers
Correct your spelling
officers
officials
to fulfill their personal requirement.
On the other hand
, to help a poor nation, we should start by helping with the most basic things. With financial support, they can use the
money
to build the infrastructure. When the country has a stable infrastructure, it will naturally produce some working opportunities. Working opportunities not only
encourages
Change the verb form
encourage
show examples
economic growth
,
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apply
show examples
but
also
impr
Correct your spelling
improve
the living quality. In conclusion, I do not believe that giving
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
financial support to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor
nations
can
help
Verb problem
apply
show examples
truly help them.
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coherence cohesion
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logical structure
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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