Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Wealthy
nations
often provide some financial assistance to the
countries that are facing economic difficulties, Correct article usage
apply
however
, the approach does not effectively address the root causes of proverty
. As far as I Correct your spelling
poverty
concerned
, I strongly agree that richer Add a missing verb
am concerned
nations
should offer other forms of support, as more comprehensive methods are needed to truly help these countries.
There are several reasons why I argue against those nations
donate
Wrong verb form
donating
money
to the poor nations
. Firstly
, donating money
does not provide any help to the development of ecomomic
. Correct your spelling
economics
This
policy is seen as window dressing and also
not practical, it can only offer temporary aid. For instance
, America donated money
to Haiti, at the beginning , the economic
was showing improvement, Replace the word
economy
however
when the relief fund Add a comma
however,
had
exhausted, they Verb problem
was
backed
to where they started, Verb problem
returned
means
that they are still poor. Correct pronoun usage
which means
Moreover
, to exaggerate further
, the destination of the funds, it can not be ensure
that the Wrong verb form
ensured
money
are
being used for helping the poor,maybe it Change the verb form
is
fall
into the hands of corrupt Correct subject-verb agreement
falls
officiers
to fulfill their personal requirement.
Correct your spelling
officers
officials
On the other hand
, to help a poor nation, we should start by helping with the most basic things. With financial support, they can use the money
to build the infrastructure. When the country has a stable infrastructure, it will naturally produce some working opportunities. Working opportunities not only encourages
economic growthChange the verb form
encourage
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
impr
the living quality.
In conclusion, I do not believe that giving Correct your spelling
improve
a
financial support to Remove the article
apply
the
poor Correct article usage
apply
nations
can help
truly help them.Verb problem
apply
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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your supporting points with detailed explanations and specific examples. This will make your argument stronger and more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea which is closely related to your thesis statement. This will improve the overall coherence of your essay.
language accurate
Double-check for any grammatical errors or awkward phrasing. This can help in making your essay easier to read and understand.
task achievement
Consider providing a brief counter-argument to address possible opposing views and then refute it with your own argument. This will enhance the depth of your discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and relevant, effectively framing your position.
logical structure
You have a logical progression of ideas, and each point generally supports your overall thesis.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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