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Band 4

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams.

#car #ownership #thirty #years #cities #world #traffic #jams
As compared with
last
 three
decates
Correct your spelling
decades
, it is true that
their
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there
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 is
an
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a
show examples
 quick increase in car owners causing traffic jams in urban areas. There are various reason which perfectly stands
withb
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with
this
approch
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approach
 and
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a varity
show examples
varity
Correct your spelling
variety
 of measures that
government
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the government
show examples
 should implement to overcome
from
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apply
show examples
this
 situation. my own view
regardging
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regarding
 these
matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
show examples
 is that people buy a car to showcase their financial status in society. There are multiple reasons I can describe but the main reason that
make
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makes
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this
 statement supportive is that increasing figures in cars make
an
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a
show examples
 high impact on the environment, which
release
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releases
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 carbon dioxide, causes noise pollution and air pollution.
For instance
, humans residing in these cities frequently have problems like
asthamas
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asthma
asthmas
 and skin
dieases
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diseases
. So, some group of people prefers to live in rural areas with nature. I would like to highlight some of the key aspects that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should look forward to
it
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apply
show examples
.
Firstly
,
government
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the government
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 should promote their public services like underground trains and buses
as well as
 make them
convinent
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convenient
to
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for
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 people.
Secondly
, companies or firms
they
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apply
show examples
should encourage their
employes
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employees
show examples
 to travel with
ride sharing
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ride-sharing
show examples
 where
a
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an
show examples
 employee can pick
three
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up three
show examples
 other employees from
near by
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nearby
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 which may
also
 result in
less
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fewer
show examples
 jams. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, it is clear cristal that the
amount
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number
show examples
 of cars
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 rising and can affect the future generation but on the other
side
Add a comma
side,
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
there
their
 are some important solutions that can help us to recover from
these situation
Change the determiner
this situation
these situations
show examples
.
Submitted by hary21196 on

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coherence
You should focus on structuring your arguments more logically and coherently. Each paragraph should contain a single main idea that is backed up with appropriate examples and analysis.
task response
Although your essay addresses the task, it would benefit from more specific examples to support your points. Illustrate your arguments with relevant, detailed examples.
language
Work on improving your grammar and vocabulary to ensure your ideas are clearly communicated. Proofreading your work for common mistakes will help with clarity.
overall structure
Your introduction sets a clear context for the problem, and your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.
task response
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing reasons for increased car ownership and possible solutions to the issue of traffic jams.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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