IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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no one can deny that some people believe that
Use synonyms
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
development
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decline
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decreases
show examples
 crime rates,
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 prefer to think that
Correct your spelling
technology
tecnology
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development
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increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 crime, it is important to admit that both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
views
has
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have
show examples
 their own positive sides and negative sides. in
this
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essay
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essay,
show examples
i
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I
show examples
 will discuss the possible reason that support each view and what benefits and drawbacks they
brings
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bring
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. on the one
hand
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hand,
show examples
 the option to think that
Use synonyms
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
development
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are
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is
show examples
 considered to help to decline
crimes
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crime
show examples
 rates.
Most
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A most
The most
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 important reason is
in
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that
show examples
 nowadays we have cameras and security
sistem
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systems
 in public places.
For instance
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, if we have
cctv
Correct your spelling
CCTV
 we can find the criminals easily or if an offence happens
at
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in
show examples
parks area
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park areas
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, buildings or streets,
specialist
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specialists
show examples
 may find
sign
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signs
show examples
 of the offence through
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innovation
Replace the word
innovative
show examples
Use synonyms
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 and the police could reach them
due to
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 the lack of evidence. Another key reason is
Use synonyms
tecnology
Replace the word
that technological
show examples
development
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 has advantages
such
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 as the police
immediate
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immediately
show examples
find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
criminals
by
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with
show examples
 their devices through advanced
innovation
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.
on the other hand
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,
depite
Correct your spelling
despite
 above the argument, other people choose to think that
Use synonyms
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
development
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 has
also
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 its
disadventages
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disadvantages
for obvious reasons
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such
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apply
show examples
as
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apply
show examples
huge banks,
govermental
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governmental
 organizations and big business companies have been facing cyber attacks since cybercriminals can find ways to enter into their private devices.
For
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example
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example,
show examples
 to illustrate
that is
Linking Words
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cybercriminals might hurt others by stealing their online amount by blocking bank
Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
show examples
account
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accounts
show examples
 or E-money and so on,
that is
Linking Words
 one of the negative
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
Change preposition
of
show examples
from
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of
show examples
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
technology
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
development
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, but in my opinion the benefits
Change preposition
of
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
technology
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
innovation
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 its drawbacks on the whole. In conclusion, it seems to me that
Use synonyms
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
development
Use synonyms
descrease
Correct your spelling
decreases
 criminal rates for many various reasons.
Innovation
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more positive effects than negative ones.

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task achievement
You have addressed both views and provided examples, but try to develop your ideas more thoroughly to make your arguments stronger. Expanding on how technology specifically helps or hinders efforts in crime prevention will make your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
While you have a generally logical structure, improving the flow between paragraphs and sentences will enhance the readability of your essay. Use transition words to connect your ideas better.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph stays focused on a single idea and is well-developed. This will help you build a stronger argument and make your essay more cohesive.
general
Pay attention to spelling and grammar errors, as well as sentence structure. Improving these aspects will make your essay clearer and easier to understand.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed both views on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, which is good for illustrating your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • surveillance
  • forensic science
  • cybercrime
  • data theft
  • anonymity
  • illicit activities
  • law enforcement
  • jurisdictions
  • crime prevention
What to do next:
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