Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
no one can deny that some people believe that
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
development
decline
crime rates, Correct your spelling
decreases
while
other
prefer to think thatFix the agreement mistake
others
Correct your spelling
technology
tecnology
development
increase
crime, it is important to admit that both Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
of
views Change preposition
apply
has
their own positive sides and negative sides. in Change the verb form
have
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
i
will discuss the possible reason that support each view and what benefits and drawbacks they Change the capitalization
I
brings
to Change the verb form
bring
the
society.
on the one Correct article usage
apply
hand
the option to think that Add a comma
hand,
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
development
are
considered to help to decline Change the verb form
is
crimes
rates. Change the noun form
crime
Most
important reason is Add an article
A most
The most
in
nowadays we have cameras and security Change preposition
that
sistem
in public places. Correct your spelling
systems
For instance
, if we have cctv
we can find the criminals easily or if an offence happens Correct your spelling
CCTV
at
Change preposition
in
parks area
, buildings or streets, Fix the agreement mistake
park areas
specialist
may find Fix the agreement mistake
specialists
sign
of the offence through Fix the agreement mistake
signs
innovation
Replace the word
innovative
tecnology
and the police could reach them Correct your spelling
technology
due to
the lack of evidence. Another key reason is tecnology
Replace the word
that technological
development
has advantages such
as the police immediate
Change the word
immediately
find
Wrong verb form
finding
the
criminals Correct article usage
apply
by
their devices through advanced Change preposition
with
innovation
.
on the other hand
, depite
above the argument, other people choose to think that Correct your spelling
despite
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
development
has also
its disadventages
for obvious reasons Correct your spelling
disadvantages
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
as
huge banks, Change preposition
apply
govermental
organizations and big business companies have been facing cyber attacks since cybercriminals can find ways to enter into their private devices. Correct your spelling
governmental
For
example
to illustrate Add a comma
example,
that is
Correct article usage
apply
the
cybercriminals might hurt others by stealing their online amount by blocking bank Correct article usage
apply
Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
account
or E-money and so on, Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
that is
one of the negative Fix the agreement mistake
sides
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
Change preposition
of
from
Change preposition
of
Correct your spelling
technology
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
development
, but in my opinion the benefits Change preposition
of
from
Change preposition
of
Correct your spelling
technology
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
innovation
Correct pronoun usage
apply
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweight
its drawbacks on the whole.
In conclusion, it seems to me that Correct your spelling
outweigh
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
development
descrease
criminal rates for many various reasons. Correct your spelling
decreases
Innovation
have
more positive effects than negative ones.Change the verb form
has
Submitted by arniaqlina44 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
You have addressed both views and provided examples, but try to develop your ideas more thoroughly to make your arguments stronger. Expanding on how technology specifically helps or hinders efforts in crime prevention will make your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
While you have a generally logical structure, improving the flow between paragraphs and sentences will enhance the readability of your essay. Use transition words to connect your ideas better.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph stays focused on a single idea and is well-developed. This will help you build a stronger argument and make your essay more cohesive.
general
Pay attention to spelling and grammar errors, as well as sentence structure. Improving these aspects will make your essay clearer and easier to understand.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed both views on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, which is good for illustrating your arguments.