IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Transport delays and long journey times are a widespread phenomenon in many cities today. •What are the causes of this problem, and how could the situation be improved?

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Transportation
Use synonyms
 is an essential part of our modern life, notably over the
last
Linking Words
 150 years
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 the most advanced modes
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 invented-
such
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 as
Airplane
Fix the agreement mistake
airplanes
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 and trains-.
This
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 shift
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the way we
can
Verb problem
apply
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travel has made frequent
transferring
Fix the agreement mistake
transfers
show examples
 between far destinations more common,
although
Linking Words
 there are
sometimes
Correct your spelling
times
show examples
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
delays
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
occur
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
Firstly
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, the long
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 time is
natural
Add an article
a natural
the natural
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 response to our modern life. Many individuals need to commute far
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
show examples
 for various purposes.
For example
Linking Words
, some students prefer to study
aboard
Rephrase
abroad
show examples
, so they have to take trips
may
Correct your spelling
maybe
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 for ten hours.
Additionally
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, the availability of
high speed
Add a hyphen
high-speed
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 and comfortable
transportation
Use synonyms
moods
Correct your spelling
modes
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 like plans or trains,
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 it more
attracted
Replace the word
attractive
show examples
 and easier to engage in long-distance
travels
Fix the agreement mistake
travel
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, nowadays it is acceptable to spend 6 or 8 hours
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
travelling to just attend
meeting
Add an article
a meeting
the meeting
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 for one day.
On the other hand
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, regardless of the remarkable development of
transportation
Use synonyms
 systems, sometimes potential
delay
Fix the agreement mistake
delays
show examples
 might occur, for many reasons,
such
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 as weather conditions or regular mistakes.
However
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,
this
Linking Words
 issue ,
although
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 it does not
happens
Change the verb form
happen
show examples
 a lot of times, can lead to considerable abuse for travellers. That
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
 the majority of them have appointments and should be
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 timetable.
This
Linking Words
 problem can be simply solved by
regular review
Replace the word
regularly reviewing
show examples
 the reasons and
try
Wrong verb form
trying
show examples
 to avoid them in future.
Moreover
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,
stand by
Add a hyphen
stand-by
show examples
 vehicles can be used to take place the delay ones, when
necessity
Replace the word
necessary
show examples
. In conclusion, relying on the advanced
transportation
Use synonyms
 infrastructure more people find it easier to move for a
long-distance
Correct your spelling
long distance
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 spending long hours on the way.
Although
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 some
postpone
Replace the word
postponement
show examples
 of trips may occur sometimes, the current system still has sufficient reliability.

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coherence cohesion
Work on developing a more logical structure for your essay. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that contributes to the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the introduction and conclusion to make them more impactful. The introduction should clearly present the topic and your main argument, while the conclusion should summarize the key points effectively.
task achievement
Make your main points clearer and more comprehensive. Ensure that each point is fully developed and well-supported with relevant details and examples.
task achievement
Proofread your work to correct any grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for better clarity and readability.
task achievement
You have chosen a relevant topic and provided a reasonable response to the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains an introduction and a conclusion, which helps to frame your discussion effectively.
task achievement
You have included specific examples to support your points, which enhances the relevance of your argument.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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