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IELTS 8 - Exam 2 - Writing Task 2 Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

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Recently communication types have been changing
due to
 modern technology, which
also
 brings lots of differences in friendships. I believe it has huge benefits for
people
. There are new generations of relationships around the world because of technology which influences all aspects of communication.
Due to
 the new system that allows us to connect with
people
 who are a long distance from us, we will be able to make friends overseas which will boost our knowledge and awareness about various
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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.
Additionally
 in the new world
by
Change preposition
of
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 these types of equipment and new apps, family gatherings have decreased a lot. They prefer to connect with each other via a video call
instead
 of
traveling
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travelling
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.
In
Change preposition
On
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 the other hand, from my point of view, these facilities
overally
Correct your spelling
overall
 have a positive effect on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
’s
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Firstly
 it allows
people
 to work from a long distance,
for example
, an engineer would be able to work for a company in another country easily without limitations.
Secondly
, immigration will change to an easier task for individuals who must immigrate far from their families,
for example
, soldiers who have to live in another city for a
while
.
Finally
, abroad education will be increased
due to
 the equipment that technology generates for every person. There will be no restriction to finding their favorite major for students anymore
therefore
 they can choose without considering borders. In conclusion, the new modern world provides lots of appliances for
people
 to change their communication type, and it will be a better situation for connection.
Submitted by ostorr7213 on

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task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task prompt, providing an appropriate response to the question about how technology has affected relationships and its impact. However, some points could benefit from further elaboration and clearer expressions.
coherence cohesion
You presented a clear introduction and conclusion which frame your argument well. However, some ideas in the body paragraphs could be better organized to improve the overall flow of the essay, making it easier for readers to follow your arguments.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your main points. Including relevant data, anecdotes, or studies can make your arguments more compelling and concrete.
coherence cohesion
While the essay generally flows logically, try to ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly from one idea to the next. This will enhance the cohesion of your essay.
task achievement
Your introduction succinctly sets up the topic and your perspective, making clear what your essay will discuss.
coherence cohesion
You include a conclusion that neatly wraps up your essay, reaffirming your main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • social media
  • communication apps
  • virtual relationships
  • instant communication
  • instant gratification
  • telecommuting
  • remote work
  • social dynamics
  • privacy issues
  • trust
  • intimacy
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