It is too expensive to look after and repair old building .Tho money should spend on building new modern buildings instead .To what extent do you agree or disagree.
It is undoubtedly true that investment is required to establish new
buildings
. However
, I agree with this
statement that finance should be made to form new modern architects rather than reconstructing those expired buildings
at the present time.
There are several reasons when it comes to repairing traditional old buildings
that should be abandoned. To begin
with, frequent renovations result in decreasing the longevity of the buildings
. Since,
Remove the comma
apply
to repair
an old building is much more difficult because of the fragile structure Change the verb form
repairing
and
it is not worth the risk. Other than that, people found few drawbacks of an old type of housing where they are deprived of several facilities. If we consider one example Correct word choice
apply
that is
in Japan, old buildings
are demolished as these are risky because of the earthquake.
I believe that constructing modern architecture would be more beneficial from different perspectives.
Firstly
, it is less time-consuming to build a new modern structured building with the help of cutting-edge technology. As well as
,
it provides facilities and flexibilities through the effective design language approach. As it consists of advantageous features and is Remove the comma
apply
also
much more feasible to handle any kind of natural disaster. For instance
, China invests a lot of money in the construction sector in terms of making superior new infrastructures.
In conclusion, it is more worthwhile to invest proper money in new modern construction instead
of hard
and fast type of infrastructure.Add an article
the hard
a hard
Submitted by mahamudzisan on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the prompt, addressing both the costs of maintaining old buildings and the benefits of constructing new ones. However, you could further elaborate on the argument for building new modern buildings by providing more examples or specific benefits.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear, but there are some grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasing that occasionally hinder understanding. Revising sentences for clarity and correctness would improve readability.
coherence cohesion
You have a logical structure in place with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each main point is fully supported with relevant examples, data, or detailed explanations to strengthen your argument. Currently, some points are briefly mentioned without enough supporting detail.
general
Your essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument.
task achievement
You effectively contrasted the drawbacks of repairing old buildings with the benefits of constructing new modern ones, demonstrating an understanding of both sides of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your topic sentences are clear, and your paragraphs are focused on specific points, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.