Some health problems are directly linked to people’s life choices. Why do people make these choices? What can be done to encourage them to make healthier choices instead?
Nowadays,
people
are often seen neglecting their daily habits and opting for convenience
yet unhealthy choices. Replace the word
convenient
This
essay highlights the cause behind this
approach and provide
the healthier ways that might help Change the verb form
provides
people
to combat with
the overarching problem.
There are numerous reasons associated with Change preposition
apply
this
trend. Firstly
, an increased sedentary lifestyle at work
as
Correct word choice
apply
it
not only promotes issues in the lower back but Correct pronoun usage
apply
also
a cause Add a missing verb
is also
behind
obesity. Many Change preposition
of
people
are obese these days because they wanted
to be in Wrong verb form
want
work
setting that promotes to be Add an article
a work
the work
sitted
for prolonged Correct your spelling
sitting
hours
. In this
way, people
will become more obese with no physical activity at all. Therefore
, such
choices end up giving people
serious and life threatening
illnesses. Add a hyphen
life-threatening
For example
, in India, a major part of youngsters works
in offices and are obese because of no Correct subject-verb agreement
work
phyical
activity at all. Correct your spelling
physical
Secondly
, people
prefer binging on readily available food
when they get off after work
this
is because they become so exhaused
after constraining themselves on a single chair for more than 8 Correct your spelling
exhausted
hours
. Thus
, ends
up ordering Correct subject-verb agreement
end
food
daily from any restaurants or food
chains. Moreover
, these food
Fix the agreement mistake
foods
contains
Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
high -saturated
fats and daily consumption of Correct your spelling
high-saturated
such
foods will cause rise Change preposition
in chloesterol
chloesterol
levels and sometimes premature deaths.
Correct your spelling
cholesterol
However
, people
can alter their daily life choices in order to get good health by prefering
homemade tiffin foods and introducing some physical activities particularly they are interested in. Correct your spelling
preferring
People
can join any recreational centres after work
hours
nearby them so that they could
have some spare time alone playing their Wrong verb form
can
favorite
sport. Change the spelling
favourite
Moreover
, planning a proteineous
meal a day before not only Correct your spelling
proteinous
proteinaceous
help
them to avoid junk but Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
also
make
them remain full for longer Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
hours
.
To conclude
, I firmly believe that by
applying some small change in their daily lives Change preposition
apply
foster
them to stay healthy and they could live Correct subject-verb agreement
fosters
diseases free
Correct your spelling
disease-free
life
.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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task achievement
Ensure that every main idea is thoroughly explained and supported with specific examples. For instance, when discussing sedentary lifestyle and its impact, providing concrete statistics or more detailed explanations could enhance your argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to language accuracy. There are several minor grammatical and lexical errors (e.g., 'prefering' should be 'preferring', 'chloesterol' should be 'cholesterol'). While they do not significantly impede understanding, correcting these can improve the overall impression of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency. This will make your essay more engaging and show a better command of English.
task achievement
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, giving a clear outline of the topic and summarizing the main points.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic directly and provides reasonable arguments for why people make unhealthy choices and how they could be encouraged to make healthier ones.
coherence cohesion
The use of cohesive devices, such as 'Firstly', 'Therefore', and 'However', helps in guiding the reader through the arguments and ideas logically.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
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