IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think it would be a good idea for school to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this option ? Describe the skill a person needs to be a good parent.

#people #idea #school #person #parent #option #skill
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Several citizens believe that the idea regarding
with
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apply
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teaching teenagers in formal school about parenting is a good way. Personally, I disagree with
this
 opinion because
from
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, from
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 my point, every couple or parent has
different
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a different
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 pattern
to
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of
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grow
Verb problem
raising
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 their children. Every family has different steps to engage themself in growing up their offspring.
Thus
, it would be difficult to design a curriculum which will be
tought
Correct your spelling
taught
tough
 to the students.
For example
, a couple might agree to educate their children
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through
throughout
throught
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through
Submitted by hikmanurdin04 on

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and directly address the question. Your introduction should be more explicit about your stance and provide an overview of your main points.
task achievement
Your essay needs more concrete examples and explanations to support your points. Currently, the essay ends abruptly and lacks depth in its arguments. Expand your ideas to provide a comprehensive response.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your arguments flow logically from one to the next. Consider using linking words to help the reader follow your line of reasoning.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address the topic and presents a clear opposition to the idea of teaching parenting in schools, which shows an understanding of the question.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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