The chart below shows the amount of time that 10 – 15-year-olds spend chatting on the Internet and playing on games consoles on an average school day in the UK.

The chart below shows the amount of time that 10 – 15-year-olds spend chatting on the Internet and playing on games consoles on an average school day in the UK.
The bar graph depicts the data
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
how much time
students
(10 to 15 years old) spend on online communication and computer
games
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Britain.
Overall
, all
students
share
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
proportion with regard to chatting on the Internet,
while
most boys spend playing
games
over 4
hours
. It is noticeable that the figures for all
students
chatting online and playing
games
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are equal around
to
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apply
show examples
25% and 30% respectively. Girls spend more time
on
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apply
show examples
chatting on the Internet, with nearly 35% of them taking from 1 to 3
hours
, and 9% of them over 4
hours
. The ratio of boys who consume 1 to 3
hours
on
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of
show examples
chatting is as same as those who spend less than an hour.
Moreover
,
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
of them prefer talking online over 4
hours
. When it comes to playing
games
, over half of boys spend over 1
hours
Change to a singular noun
hour
show examples
on
computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
, especially over 10% of them spend over 4
hours
.
Conversely
, only a tiny group of girls are likely to spend over 4
hours
on it,
whereas
nearly 40%
female
Change preposition
of female
show examples
students
play
games
console less than an hour.
Submitted by xeyojnn on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, games, hours with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adolescents
  • chatting online
  • games consoles
  • average school day
  • time allocation
  • social interaction
  • gaming habits
  • internet usage
  • preference
  • daily patterns
  • peak times
  • weekdays
  • weekends
  • gender differences
  • trends
  • implications
  • social skills
  • physical health
  • academic performance
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