Question：more students study abroad to learn new things today do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages？ is it positive or negative？ agree or disagree to what extent do you agree or disagree？
Nowadays, most
of
Change preposition
apply
students
tend to study abroad to learn new things. From my perspective, I think it has more benefits than the drawbacks.
On the one hand, Use synonyms
number
of pupils prefer to studying other countries rather than their own because it has several advantages Change the article
a number
the number
such
as Linking Words
learn
new skills. Wrong verb form
learning
Furthermore
, they should Linking Words
used
more Change the verb form
use
English
language Use synonyms
for
communicate with other people, which can improve their Change preposition
to
English
skills, and it can help to have more job opportunities in the future. Use synonyms
For example
, I went to Brisbane in Australia for 3 weeks because I Linking Words
have
a camp for preparing Wrong verb form
had
on
Change preposition
for
English
subject for the University test, Use synonyms
therefore
, I Linking Words
actually
more familiar with Add a missing verb
have actually
English
since Use synonyms
then
. Linking Words
In addition
, Linking Words
students
might gain more experience from people with different Use synonyms
background
that can help them more protection, when they come back.
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
On the other hand
, there Linking Words
have
a few negative effects on Verb problem
are
students
Use synonyms
such
as homesickness or they cannot adapt to the new culture. Linking Words
Moreover
, sometimes it should cost Linking Words
to
high for Replace the word
too
students
to go abroad because they should buy the tickets to take the plane for transportation. Use synonyms
For instance
, my friend, Linking Words
which
got Correct pronoun usage
apply
the
scholarship from Correct article usage
a
the
university in Japan for 1 semester, Correct article usage
a
however
, his parents Linking Words
cannot
have enough funds to Verb problem
did not
paid
for the Change the form of the verb
pay
another semesters
and the tickets, Fix the agreement mistake
other semester
hence
, now he still Linking Words
learned
in their own Wrong verb form
learning
countries
. Fix the agreement mistake
country
Additionally
, Linking Words
students
can get lost when they go to other countries that Use synonyms
does
not familiar with Change the verb form
do
by
Change preposition
apply
theirselves
.
In conclusion, I believe that Correct your spelling
themselves
study
abroad Wrong verb form
studying
have
more merit than demeritsChange the verb form
has
,
because it can Remove the comma
apply
brought
more experience and skills Change the verb form
bring
be brought
on
social interaction to people from around the world.Change preposition
in
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coherence cohesion
To improve the essay's coherence, try to use more transition words and phrases to enhance the flow between ideas. Words like 'moreover,' 'however,' and 'therefore' can help make the essay read more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Correct certain grammatical errors and awkward phrases such as 'they should used more English' and 'it should cost to high.' Focus on subject-verb agreement and proper tense usage.
coherence cohesion
Improve your conclusion by summarizing the main points more clearly and making a definitive, strong final statement.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and elaborations to back up your points, especially to explain the disadvantages in more detail.
task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task prompt. While your essay covers advantages and disadvantages, diversity in examples will make your argument more comprehensive.
task achievement
Refine your thesis statement in the introduction to make it clearer and include it in the conclusion as well. This helps reinforce the main argument effectively.
task achievement
The essay presents clear ideas about both the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad, effectively addressing the task prompt.
task achievement
Strong personal experience examples are included, such as the camp in Australia and the friend's scholarship experience in Japan, which adds credibility to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay includes a definite introduction and conclusion, making it easier to follow.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.