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Band 5

Increasıng the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

#increasıng #price #petrol #traffic #pollution #measures
Increasing the price of petrol will definitely drive more vehicle owners
find
Add the particle
to find
show examples
 alternatives to reduce their daily commute expenses.  One
alternative
 is to switch to using public transport for their commute which will reduce the number of vehicles on the road and
as a result
, will decrease both traffic and pollution.
This
alternative
 requires the city to have a well-connected and efficient public transportation system. Another
alternative
 is for vehicle owners to switch to cars that use environment-friendly
fuel
 sources including electricity, CNG and hydrogen.
However
, the
fuel
 price increase has to be significant enough to justify the premium for switching to
alternative
fuel
 vehicles.
This
 would reduce pollution but not traffic congestion on roads.
Although
 increasing
fuel
 prices might drive more people to use public transportation,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vehicle owners will be hesitant to switch to the aforementioned alternatives if the infrastructure of the city does
make
Rephrase
not make
show examples
 the transition easy and reliable.
Therefore
, the government should invest in infrastructure to ensure a smooth transition for its residents. Aside from increasing
fuel
 prices, the government should introduce shuttle services from residential areas to major commercial hubs making the commute for its residents easy and cost-effective.
This
 solution will
also
 decrease pollution and road traffic.
Submitted by nakuleshj1998 on

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advice
It is important to have a clear introduction and conclusion in your essay. Your essay dives straight into the solution without an introduction and lacks a concluding paragraph that consolidates your points and provides a final stance on the topic.
advice
Ensure that all ideas are fully expanded. While your arguments are relevant and specific, elaborating more on how the government can improve infrastructure or providing examples of cities that have successfully implemented similar measures would strengthen your essay.
advice
To achieve a higher score for coherence and cohesion, consider the logical flow between paragraphs. While each paragraph individually makes sense, the transitions between them could be smoother.
task achievement
You presented clear and comprehensive ideas which directly address the task.
task achievement
The use of relevant and specific examples helps to support your main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a logical structure with clear reasons and solutions to the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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