Increasıng the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

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Increasing the price of petrol will definitely drive more vehicle owners
find
Add the particle
to find
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alternatives to reduce their daily commute expenses.  One
alternative
is to switch to using public transport for their commute which will reduce the number of vehicles on the road and
as a result
, will decrease both traffic and pollution.
This
alternative
requires the city to have a well-connected and efficient public transportation system. Another
alternative
is for vehicle owners to switch to cars that use environment-friendly
fuel
sources including electricity, CNG and hydrogen.
However
, the
fuel
price increase has to be significant enough to justify the premium for switching to
alternative
fuel
vehicles.
This
would reduce pollution but not traffic congestion on roads.
Although
increasing
fuel
prices might drive more people to use public transportation,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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vehicle owners will be hesitant to switch to the aforementioned alternatives if the infrastructure of the city does
make
Rephrase
not make
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the transition easy and reliable.
Therefore
, the government should invest in infrastructure to ensure a smooth transition for its residents. Aside from increasing
fuel
prices, the government should introduce shuttle services from residential areas to major commercial hubs making the commute for its residents easy and cost-effective.
This
solution will
also
decrease pollution and road traffic.
Submitted by nakuleshj1998 on

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It is important to have a clear introduction and conclusion in your essay. Your essay dives straight into the solution without an introduction and lacks a concluding paragraph that consolidates your points and provides a final stance on the topic.
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Ensure that all ideas are fully expanded. While your arguments are relevant and specific, elaborating more on how the government can improve infrastructure or providing examples of cities that have successfully implemented similar measures would strengthen your essay.
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To achieve a higher score for coherence and cohesion, consider the logical flow between paragraphs. While each paragraph individually makes sense, the transitions between them could be smoother.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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