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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think it would be a good idea for school to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this option ? Describe the skill a person needs to be a good parent.

#people #idea #school #person #parent #option #skill
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There is no denying the fact that Some folks think it would be a better idea for
schools
 to teach every young person how to be a good parent.
while
 it is a commonly held belief that
schools
 should not teach teenagers
on
Change preposition
apply
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how to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
, there is
also
 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that
schools
 should not teach children or young
people
 about
this
 subject.
To begin
 with, I believe that young
people
 will recognize that no need to learn more about
this
 topic.
In other words
, They will be able to know about
this
 in the future no
while
 they are still young.
In addition
, the
schools
 that teach
this
 topic should get a fine from the government.
For example
, I remember
last
 year my brother came to me and said that the tutor had spoken about
this
 topic today. Another point to consider
Add a missing verb
is, These
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, These
Correct your spelling
that these
 subjects are for
people
 who
above
Add a missing verb
are above
show examples
 18 because they may understand them. It is possible to say that it is really good for teenagers to learn about how to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 but I disagree
due to
 some sensitive stuff that
may
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
 young students should not know at their age.
Moreover
, teenagers should learn about math and things that could help them and improve their way of living in the foreseeable future.
For instance
, When the government published a new law about teaching topics they prohibited
such
 as talking about parents and the war and killing and so on. In conclusion, despite
people
 having different views, I believe that it would be better for
schools
 if they stayed away from these kinds of arguments.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction clearly states your position and outlines the main points you will discuss. This will help the reader follow your argument.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your main points. This will strengthen your argument and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Double-check sentences for grammatical accuracy and clarity. This will make your essay more professional and easier to read.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position on the topic and attempts to support it with relevant reasons.
coherence cohesion
The essay has an introduction and conclusion, providing a clear structure for the reader.
task achievement
The argument considers different points of view, showing an awareness of complexity in the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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