IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#visitors #attractions
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There is an opinion that the cost of each item paid by national
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 should be higher than that for local ones. The writer of
this
Linking Words
 essay strongly disagrees with
this
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 statement
due to
Linking Words
 the decline in finance and a rise in the poverty rate. It is vital to understand that there would be
a
Correct article usage
an
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 affection in the
finance
Fix the agreement mistake
finances
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 of a nation.Specifically, forcing foreigners to
paid
Change the form of the verb
pay
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 more for each product will create a distinction between local visitors and foreigners, so it will make a bad impression
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 national travellers.
As a result
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,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to avoid going to that place anymore.
In addition
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,some
people
Use synonyms
 might share their views on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media
such
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 as Facebook or Twitter which
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
million
Fix the agreement mistake
millions
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 around the world access
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
, thereby creating a significant expansion to all areas.
As a result
Linking Words
, there will a sharp decline in the number of national tourists, which lead to a drop in the amount of money
receive
Wrong verb form
received
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 from tourism causing lots of unexpected problems in the future. Another reason worth mentioning is that nations can
witnessed
Change the verb form
witness
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 a rise in the crime rate.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is common to know that not many
people
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
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 wealthy, some may only afford to buy
ticket
Fix the agreement mistake
tickets
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, forcing them to pay more can lead to a lack of money, and so broadening the gap between rich and poor.
Consequently
Linking Words
, minor
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
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such
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 as stealing or robbery will appear more often leading to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
fear among citizens,
while
Linking Words
 authorities have to find solutions to
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 issues as soon as possible.
Otherwise
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, these visitors may gather
at
Change preposition
in
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 a group and participate in more serious crimes posing a threat to society. In conclusion, the rule of forcing national travellers to pay more for each item should not be applied in any
areas
Fix the agreement mistake
area
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. It
is encourage
Change the verb form
is encouraging
is encouraged
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 that government should make a warm welcome to foreigners regardless of their social status and
therefore
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 visitors will have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great feelings about
this
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 place and might choose to visit again.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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task achievement
Work on varying your sentence structures to make your essay more engaging and to clearly convey complex ideas.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single central idea to improve clarity and coherence.
task achievement
Provide concrete examples to support your arguments to make them more convincing and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Review your use of vocabulary and language to ensure correct word choice and eliminate minor errors, improving overall readability.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic, making it clear that the writer disagrees with the statement.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both well-defined, giving the essay a clear beginning and end.
task achievement
The writer discusses potential economic and social consequences, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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