Being a celebrity– such as a film star or singer – brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?
Being a Famous person nowadays
such
is
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as
film
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a film
star
or Singer have
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has
alot
of advantages and disadvantages. Correct your spelling
a lot
For
my Change preposition
From
prospective
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perspective
view
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view,
i
think Change the capitalization
I
Star
Get more benefits otherthen
drawbacks. If you can see whose hard Correct your spelling
other then
other than
word
,living standards and the most important is His Correct your spelling
work
well known
Name. Add a hyphen
well-known
On the other hand
Alot
of problems they create for children to waste their Correct your spelling
a lot
time
To watching movies
,laziness,lack
of interaction with family.
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and lack
On
my Change the preposition
In
Fix capitalization
opinion
Opinion
I strongly believe that the drawbacks of Add a comma
Opinion,
star
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the star
a star
is
more than the advantages if we can see nowadays Change the verb form
are
i
think 90% Change the capitalization
I
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of younger
younger
have Change preposition
of younger
the
Correct article usage
an
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addiction
addication
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addiction
Change preposition
to
of
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to
movies
and Listening
the songs. Add the preposition
Listening to
Due to
this
reason
a lack of studies creates in Add a comma
reason,
the
youngsters because they don't refer Correct article usage
apply
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. The main thing is laziness Change preposition
to studies
come
in every person if they Wrong verb form
comes
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
movies
and didn't
give Wrong verb form
don't
a
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apply
time
to Physically
games. Change the word
Physical
Also
the big problem is that Add a comma
Also,
alot
of Correct your spelling
a lot
time
was waste
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wasted
on
watching Change preposition
apply
movies
and listening the song
.
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songs
Furthermore
, if
we see Currently That Correct word choice
apply
everyone
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have
a smartphone. And they watch Correct subject-verb agreement
has
movies
and the reels of the stars.Speciallay
younger have no Correct your spelling
Specially
time
for family to set
with him and communicate with our family. Correct your spelling
sit
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they don't Add a comma
Also,
known
the benefits Change the verb form
know
from
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of
that
what can we achieve from Correct word choice
or
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.
In Correct pronoun usage
them
conclusion
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conclusion,
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
show
that the benefits Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
is
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are
less
compared Correct quantifier usage
fewer
Change preposition
to then
then
disadvantages my vision is that Correct your spelling
the
due to
this
Famous Person
Add a comma
Person,
alot
of people motivate us To become a Correct your spelling
a lot
super
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superstar
star
and the
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they
didnot
give Verb problem
do not
the
full Correct article usage
apply
of
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apply
the
strength to they just waste Correct article usage
apply
out
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our
time
.Submitted by khastafojiii on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure to structure the essay with clear paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. This will make your essay more readable and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between paragraphs and sentences. Use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas cohesively.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your main points. This will help to strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
task achievement
Focus on delivering clear and comprehensive ideas. Avoid repetition, and ensure that each idea is fully developed before moving onto the next.
task achievement
The essay covers both benefits and drawbacks of being a celebrity, demonstrating an attempt to provide a balanced view.
task achievement
There is a clear opinion that being a celebrity has more drawbacks. Your stance is evident, which is important for a strong argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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