Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people prefer traditional treatment to modern
medical
Replace the word
medicine
show examples
, so they may not tend to consult a doctor when they
fell
Wrong verb form
fall
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ill. I think that
this
trend, which may not be new because throughout several historical
period
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periods
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societies
had been
Wrong verb form
have
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relied on
this
kind of
treatments
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treatment
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, can pose significant damage to our
health
instead
of
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
a solution for
health
problems. On the one hand, the figure of
individuals
Correct pronoun usage
who tends
show examples
tends
Correct subject-verb agreement
tend
show examples
to alternative
medicine
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
increased dramatically over the
last
decade. A lot of those
individuals
might not trust modern
medical
Replace the word
medicine
show examples
or find it exorbitant and affordable.
Moreover
, Depending on traditional
medicine
is not a new trend, it was the sole source
remedies
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of remedies
show examples
for various diseases before the
arise
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
of modern
medicine
, which is based on research conducted at specialist centres.
However
, traditional treatment may cause damage rather than be useful. Because its ingredients do not pass through scientific observation.to illustrate, even modern medical drugs , which are produced by a very sensitive process, sometimes cause considerable symptoms and should be taken under detailed instructions and directions. The responsible authorities can mitigate
this
risk by restricting regulations organize
this
field, making it more reliable.
Additionally
, some complex diseases,
such
as heart attacks or cancer, need a complex healing process and it is impossible to be treated
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
traditional ways,
thus
, those providing traditional treatment should adhere to not deal with
individuals
with
such
diseases. In conclusion, As using alternative
medicine
is not a new trend
itself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, it is not reliable to allow
individuals
to depend on it to treat their
health
problems. Personally, I believe that
this
field offers us a remarkable opportunity to enhance public
health
if detailed research is conducted.
Submitted by aalahmad387s on

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Task Response
Ensure there is clarity in your thesis statement to clearly indicate whether you are arguing for or against the topic. Also, be sure to develop your reasons with concrete examples or evidence to improve the strength of your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on linking words and phrases for smoother transitions between ideas. This can enhance the overall flow and make your essay more readable.
Task Response
All points need more development through specific examples and detailed explanation to fully demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
General
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and variety. It is important to maintain consistent verb tenses and correct subject-verb agreement to enhance readability.
Introduction
Your essay has a clear introduction outlining the main issue and your viewpoint, which helps set the direction of the essay.
Conclusion
You concluded your essay with a summary of your argument and a personal stance, which adds closure to your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your points are logically structured and presented in a coherent manner, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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