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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Your grandparents are planning a family gathering. They want to have a fun weekend somewhere. You know a perfect place to have the event. Write them an email and include the following things: • Tell them about the place you have in mind. • Talk about your experiences at the place. • Describe what the family can do there

#grandparents #fun #weekend #place #event #email #mind #experiences
Dear
Grandpaa
Correct your spelling
Grandpa
, How are you? I hope you are doing well. How's grandmaa? Tell her that I
am missing
Wrong verb form
miss
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 her so much. I just came to know about the family
gatherning
Correct your spelling
gathering
gatherings
 for Dad, that you and
grandmaa
Correct your spelling
grandma
grandmas
 are planning for next week. I am writing
this
 email to suggest
to
Change preposition
apply
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a
perfact
Correct your spelling
perfect
 place for get together, if you can consider it. Actually,
last
 month, I went to my school picnic. It was held in the National
Park
 Brampton.
This
 is
very
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a very
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 beautiful place to hang out
this
 your loved
once
Correct your spelling
ones
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.
These
Change the determiner
This
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park
 has
different
Add an article
a different
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different
Remove the redundancy
apply
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section
Fix the agreement mistake
sections
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 for each age
group
. There are so many rides for rides and
water
Correct article usage
the water
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park
 is
also
 open on sunny days with all the safety guidelines. Adults can enjoy both indoor and outdoor games like tennis,
bedminton
Correct your spelling
badminton
, basketball and many more. For old age people, there is one community
group
 which
organize
Correct subject-verb agreement
organizes
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 joga sessions. I spent
such
a
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an
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 amazing day there, with all my friends. We took so many rides and you know how much
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 love to
playing
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play
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 with water. I
enjoyed
Verb problem
spent
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 around three hours in that
park
. We had
such
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 amazing buffet in the lunch. I think you can consider
this
 place for gathering. Even the entry fee for family or
group
 is affordable. For one
group
,
fee
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the fee
show examples
 is only 100 $ which includes all three meals with some refreshment drinks. I hope I will soo you soon on
family
Add an article
a family
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 trip. Your loving, Arshdeep
Submitted by simrankaurkaur450 on

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grammar
Focus on proofreading your essay to correct small grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement and spelling mistakes. For example, 'get together' should be 'gathering together' and 'i' should be 'I.'
content
Try to provide more descriptive details about the specific activities that each family member might enjoy to increase the richness of your response. Describe what each section of the park includes, and perhaps even mention the atmosphere or unique features of the park that make it stand out.
task achievement
The essay addresses all parts of the task effectively, providing a clear response to the prompt by suggesting a suitable place for the family gathering and elaborating on it.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the email is well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, allowing the reader to easily follow your thoughts.
task achievement
You provided relevant personal experiences and specific examples to support your suggestion, which makes the recommendation more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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