IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts gives information about the rate of electrical using for different purposes and how much time spent by the owner of houses in the year 1920 to 2019 in a country.

The charts gives information about the rate of electrical using for different purposes and how much time spent by the owner of houses in the year 1920 to 2019 in a country.
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The illustrated line diagram depicts a comparison of the use of household appliances in percentages between 1920 and 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, the data represents the comparison between three appliances:
washing
Correct article usage
a washing
show examples
 machine, refrigerator, and vacuum cleaner, all of which show a significant rise in usage over the years. Upon closer examination, the use of washing machines shows a gradual rise from around 40% in 1920 to over 70% by 1960.
However
Linking Words
, there was a slight decline until 1980,
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 it dropped to just above 60%. From 1980 to 2019, it steadily climbed again, peaking at above 70%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the use of refrigerators demonstrates a rapid increase, starting from less than 10% in 1920 and reaching nearly 100% by 2019. The vacuum cleaner displayed a similar pattern, with a steady rise from around 30% in 1920 to almost 100% by 2019

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Electricity consumption
  • Household activities
  • Technological advancements
  • Energy efficiency
  • Appliance usage
  • Lifestyle changes
  • Societal shifts
  • Economic factors
  • Historical data
  • Energy consumption patterns
  • Residential design
  • Electrical equipment
  • Time spent
  • Adoption
  • Correlation
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