You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #schools

Bullying is an action which many

students

do to their peers and it makes several schools

facing

Wrong verb form

face

show examples

a new issue regarding

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the crisis mentality and morality. From my

poin

Correct your spelling

point

of view, it

Verb problem

has

show examples

happened

due to

the inequality between the

students

, and the best

solition

Correct your spelling

solution

which can tackle

this

problem is by giving

special

Correct article usage

a special

show examples

subject focused on moral learning and how to be

tollerant

Correct your spelling

tolerant

each

Change preposition

of each

show examples

other. In

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

one school, the

students

or pupils come from various backgrounds

such

as wealthy and poorer families and it sometimes brings a problem

which

Change preposition

in which

show examples

some of them give

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

different treatment to the richer

students

. The result of

this

pattern is many

students

begining

Correct your spelling

beginning

to abandon and to do not take care

each

Change preposition

of each

show examples

other.

For example

, in

Remove the article

apply

show examples

one class, there are

students

who

have

Verb problem

are

show examples

financial

Change the adjective

financially

show examples

stable and others try to give more attention to them.

Others peer

Fix the agreement mistake

Other peers

show examples

will be abandoned and

sometime

Replace the word

sometimes

show examples

they

get

Verb problem

exhibit

show examples

inappropiate

Correct your spelling

inappropriate

behavior

such

as getting bad words from their peers and starting to have a sense of

worthless

Add a missing verb

being worthless

show examples

. One thing that can be given as

an advice

Remove the article

advice

a piece of advice

a bit of advice

show examples

is the schools should establish a new curriculum

which

Change preposition

in which

show examples

moral learning

included

Add a missing verb

is included

show examples

in the timetable. That subject consists of how to be

a better

Correct the article-noun agreement

a better student

better students

show examples

students

In addition

, the teachers have to demonstrate

tollerancy

Correct your spelling

tolerant

behaviour to the

students

and give

explanation

Add an article

an explanation

the explanation

show examples

that financial levels are not the main measurement in

treathing

Correct your spelling

treating

a person. The result is

students

will begin to adapt

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

of their teacher. In conclusion,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

bullying action happens because

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

intollerant

Correct your spelling

interaction

between

students

and it can be tackled by focusing on moral learning and showing a good way to interact

each

Change preposition

with each

show examples

other.

Submitted by hikmanurdin04 on Sat Aug 24 2024

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task achievement

Your ideas are clear, but there's room for improvement in providing more comprehensive supports and relevant examples to enhance your arguments. Including specific instances or references can make your points more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

The logical flow of your essay can be improved. You may want to use more transitional words and sentences to better guide the reader through your arguments. This will make your essay more cohesive and easier to follow.

coherence cohesion

While your introduction and conclusion are presented, consider making your introduction more engaging and your conclusion more decisive. This can leave a stronger impact on the reader.

task achievement

You have clearly stated the topic and offered a clear opinion on the causes and potential solutions to bullying in schools. This is a strong starting point.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This organization helps the reader understand your viewpoints.

task achievement

You’ve made a good effort in acknowledging different backgrounds of students and suggesting moral education as part of the curriculum to address bullying. This shows thoughtfulness in tackling the problem.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

bullying
imbalance of power
empathy
understanding
media
social norms
policies
consequences
education
awareness
promote
kindness
parents
community
safe
supportive

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Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

Tourism generates revenue therefore it should be promoted discuss the statement and give solutions .

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

in many countries, women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first month after the birth of their baby. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?