Some people believe that companies should hire young people. Others say that older experienced staff should be hired.Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
A large group of individuals
considire
that younger staff should be hired Correct your spelling
consider
considered
whereas
others believe that older people suit more due to
sufficient experience. I strongly believe that balanced
approach is the most effective strategy Correct article usage
a balanced
while
Change preposition
during
hiring
process.
On Correct article usage
the hiring
one
hand, young employees have better Correct article usage
the one
skilss
in dealing with modern technologies, which is Correct your spelling
skills
very
important feature for Add an article
a very
workers
in all of the areas all over the world. Mankind observes many different changes in various sectors, especially in business
environment. Add an article
a business
the business
However
, younger workers
cope with this
changes better as they are better Correct determiner usage
these
in adaptability rather
than older Correct word choice
adaptable
workers
. Recent studies from Cambridge University show that 78.7% on
people in Change preposition
of
age
group of 18-35 do not face major problems in adapting to different situations and environments.
Add an article
the age
On the other hand
, older employees have much experience as a result
they have different skills which young employees are not likely to have until they they get older and face some different situations in their field of work. Moreover
, older workers
have better theoretical and practical knowledge, which consequently
gives them more proficiency. For instance
, statictics
show that 7 of the 10 local Correct your spelling
statistics
business
prefer to send their older Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
workers
on
important meetings and events rather Change preposition
to
that
younger ones owing to their Correct word choice
than
knowkledge
and worldview.
In conclusion, I think that companies should hire Correct your spelling
knowledge
workers
from both generations as although
their skills and abilities may differ, they still have charachterictics
which are suitable for their positions. Correct your spelling
characteristics
Furthermore
they can learn from each other Add a comma
Furthermore,
thus
will make a good impact both on themselves and Correct word choice
and thus
company's
performance which businessmen need.Correct article usage
the company's
Submitted by i.nureddinn on
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Coherence and Cohesion
While the logical structure of your essay is commendable, there are some grammatical errors and minor inaccuracies that need addressing. For example, 'consider' is spelled incorrectly as 'considire', and 'skills' is spelled incorrectly as 'skilss'. Also, some sentences are worded awkwardly which affects readability.
Task Achievement
Your essay covers both viewpoints comprehensively and provides specific examples to support your points. However, try to elaborate a bit more on the balanced approach that you advocate in the conclusion, providing more details on how a mix of younger and older employees can benefit companies.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
Task Achievement
You have made a good effort to discuss both perspectives on the topic and provided relevant examples to support your points.