The government is responsible for protecting a nation’s cultural identity. Some people think it is the government’s duty to ensure that new buildings are built in a traditional style. To what extent do you agree?
The
government
is accountable for protecting a country’s cultural identity, this
statement develops people’s belief that new buildings should be constructed in traditional styles. In this
essay
I will explain why I tend to disagree.
First of all, protecting the Add a comma
essay,
culture
and tradition is absolutely the major task of the government
, but it is not only the government
’s responsibility. The nation’s culture
is crucial, so every citizen in the country has a liability to protect the culture
, because culture
is a part of society, and the country itself is
not only Verb problem
does
containing
the Wrong verb form
contain
government
. For instance
, in Indonesia, they have one motto
called “Bhinneka Tunggal Ika” which means Unity in Diversity. That motto
is a mandatory thing every Indonesian citizen should implement in their life, not only the government
. Moreover
, the motto
is already embedded since they were just a kid, so they already have the awareness to protect as well as
defend the value of the motto
itself.
Secondly
, building
can represent the Add an article
the building
a building
culture
, yet it is not only the way to represent the whole culture
itself. The use of traditional style
to construct some building
is a good thing to do, but Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
the
society cannot force the Correct article usage
apply
government
or developer to always construct the building
with the conservative Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
style
, because the material, the design, as well as
the requirement
of one building to another must be different, and most likely following the trend or the technology. Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
For
example
when building an office which has sixty floors, it could be ridiculous when people are forced to build with the traditional Add a comma
example,
style
, which is stone or raw wood. The building will easily collapse.
In conclusion, preserving the culture
and tradition is every citizen of the country’s responsibility. While
it is a good thing to do, people cannot force every building in their country to be builded
Correct your spelling
built
by
Change preposition
in
traditional
Correct article usage
the traditional
style
.Submitted by megyfebryanisyah on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear opinion. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward expressions that slightly hinder the overall clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main point that ties directly to your thesis. While you have relevant examples, they need to be more clearly linked to your argument. Working on clearer connections between ideas will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively outline your stance and summarize your main points.
task achievement
You provide relevant supporting examples that enhance your argument, such as the example from Indonesia.