IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that social media websites are a great way to create networks whereas others think that personal meetings are the best means to have a social network. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Increasing
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The increasing
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 popularity of social
media
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 has sparked a debate about whether it is the best way to meet
others
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 or
face-to-face
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whether face-to-face
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 meetings are still more effective than social
media
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platforms
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.
This
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 essay will examine both edges of the discussion and present my stance on it. Proponents of the online
platforms
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 often cite several reasons.
Firstly
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, it is easier to reach other
people
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 by using them. Each social
media
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 user has their own
profile
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 which is often reachable by that
profile
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's name so everyone who has a specific
profile
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 name can access some important information about that specific user,
such
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 as
profile
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 photograph and publicly available personal information given at the biography section, and it is possible to send a friend request to that person.
Therefore
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 it's possible for a social
media
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 user to expand his or her network by knowing only another person's
profile
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 name.
Secondly
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, online websites allow
people
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 to communicate with their friends who live far away,
thus
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 keeping their
relation
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relationship
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 strong. Snapchat,
for instance
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,
help
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helps
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people
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 to send daily photographs and videos to
make
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keep
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 their friends updated about developments in their lives even
who
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those who
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 live in
another country
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other countries
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.
On the other hand
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, supporters of personal meetings argue that the
vitual
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virtual
 networks created by
such
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platforms
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 are not real.
People
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 can have more intact, strong, and close relations with
others
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 if they lean on to meet them as
person
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a person
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instead
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 of spending their time on social
media
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 creating artificial and distant relations.
In addition
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, they believe that meeting with new
people
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 and
speding
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spending
 time with friends in the real world, as they say, help individuals to improve their social skills. If one
start
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starts
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 spending most of his or her time on social
media
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instead
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 of
real world
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real-world
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 interactions, their ability to socialize with
others
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 will diminish. The
exprience
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experience
 we had during the Covid-19 pandemic is
the
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a
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 prime example since
people
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 couldn't go out and socialize, corrupting their skills and leading to social anxiety among many
people
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. In conclusion, many believe that using social
media
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platforms
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 is the most important way to
creating
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create
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 and
expanding
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expand
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 networks,
while
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others
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 argue that real interactions between individuals are still more significant than those websites as they may cause artificial relationships and decaying social skills. I firmly believe that
latter
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the latter
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 opinion is more valid.

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detail
Your essay would benefit from a bit more elaboration and specific examples, especially in the arguments. Try to provide more detailed and varied examples to strengthen your points.
language
Work on varying your sentence structure and vocabulary to avoid repetition and maintain the reader's interest throughout the essay.
task response
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Good use of connectors and transitional phrases to maintain the flow and coherence of your arguments.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenient
  • efficient
  • geographical barriers
  • real-time communication
  • sharing of ideas
  • foster
  • diverse and inclusive networks
  • non-verbal communication
  • body language
  • facial expressions
  • deeper and more meaningful connections
  • build trust and rapport
  • online interactions
  • revolutionized
  • unique advantages
  • irreplaceable depth
  • integrated approach
  • initial connections
  • relationship-building
  • harness the benefits
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