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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many feel that going to the gym is the best way to stay it. Others think there are more effective methods. Discuss both view and give you own opinion.

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It is undoubtedly true that maintaining body fitness is now a major concern
to
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for
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 the current generation. It is opined that participating in the
gym
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 is the ultimate approach to keep the body fit
while
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, others feel that there are more convenient options in
this
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 regard.
However
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, I agree with the former statement and will prove my stand with
logical
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a logical
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 explanation in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, certain individuals tend to believe that attending
to
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apply
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the
gym
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 is the superior and the ultimate option.
To begin
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 with, a fitness center is more organized
along
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with
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apply
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full of fundamental and necessary equipment as well.
Furthermore
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, it will become much easier to do tough
exercises
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 with the help of trainers and they remain available in the
gym
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. If we consider one example
that is
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 in the
gym
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 people could be motivated to attempt
in
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apply
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several difficult
exercises
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 by observing others which would be more beneficial.
On the other hand
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, the rest of the individuals are in
favor
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favour
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 of other types of methods
in
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for
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 doing physical
exercises
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.
Firstly
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, the random exercise method can be outrageous, as it may result in severe injuries.
Moreover
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, if these approaches are continued without following any guidelines
then
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 it will be detrimental to the health.
For instance
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, if someone
do
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does
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 exercise without maintaining a proper approach and that's why
this
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 can
causes
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cause
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the
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apply
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inferior changes in the person's body structure and it is not worth the risk. In conclusion, it can be said after the above discussion that a lot of ways are there to follow, but I would suggest attending
to
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apply
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the
gym
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 would be more beneficial when it comes to doing physical
exercises
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 properly.

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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task, discussing both viewpoints and providing your opinion. However, it could be improved by including more specific examples and detailed explanations to fully support your main points.
task achievement
Ensure to provide more clarity and accuracy in your language use to convey your points effectively. This includes using precise vocabulary, and avoiding repetitive phrases or awkward constructions.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Be sure to use transitional phrases more consistently to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical progression of your ideas by ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting details that directly relate to your main argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a solid framework for your response.
task achievement
You successfully discuss both viewpoints and provide your opinion, fulfilling the task requirements.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical well-being
  • prime option
  • structured exercise routines
  • professional equipment
  • fostering an environment
  • motivation and discipline
  • counter-argument
  • outdoor activities
  • home workouts
  • cost-effectiveness
  • social and emotional satisfaction
  • team sports
  • hybrid approach
  • holistic approach
  • comprehensive benefits
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