Humans have made a great technological process in the last hundred years. However, this progress has negative effects on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#humans #process #years #progress #effects #people #lives

Over the

last

century, significant technological advances have been made.

Such

advancements

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

sparked a debate about whether

this

progress has negative effects on

people

lives

or not.

While

some claim that those improvements are not harmful, I completely believe that they have harmful impacts on individuals.

Firstly

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technological progress has led

some

Change preposition

to some

show examples

serious health issues. As technology improves,

people

's tendency to

inactiviy

Correct your spelling

inactivity

increases.

For instance

, after the invention of transportation

vehicles

Add a comma

vehicles,

show examples

people

begin to walk less, causing obesity, diabetes and heart

realted

Correct your spelling

diseases.

Besides

that, technology made reaching dopamine much easier than ever.

People

often spend most of their time on

socail

Correct your spelling

social

media platforms or streaming applications,

such

as Netflix and Amazon Prime, making them get used to high dopamine levels which make them prone to

pshycological

Correct your spelling

psychological

problems

such

as depression and anxiety .

Secondly

people

started to live more artificial

lives

with the

techonolgical

Correct your spelling

technological

improvements. The increasing social media usage is the most important reason for

such

lives

People

create their own profiles

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show examples

those platforms and share whatever they want, it doesn't have to be true.

This

way

people

can create their own reality only which can be known by others. There is no way to know how their actual

lives

are.

Such

artificial realities cause the individuals who created them to

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

those are their real

lives

, making them

detch

Correct your spelling

detach

detached

from the actual reality. In conclusion,

while

some argue that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Correct your spelling

technological

technologocal

Correct your spelling

technological

advancements don't have bad influences on

people

lives

Submitted by kalkan_emre on Sat Aug 24 2024

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task achievement

Conclude your essay with a complete sentence that wraps up your argument. This will strengthen your overall response.

coherence cohesion

Try to avoid spelling and grammar mistakes to make your essay more professional and easier to read. Paying extra attention to details will help you to avoid points deductions.

task achievement

Develop your ideas more comprehensively, explaining how each example supports your main point. This will make your argument more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Use devices like conjunctions and connectors to improve the flow between your paragraphs. A smooth transition is important for better coherence.

task achievement

Your essay covers all components of the task and includes relevant examples, which helps illustrate your points clearly.

task achievement

You have used specific examples which strongly support your main arguments and show the negative impact of technological advancements.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

245 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

6.5

Logical structure

5.5

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

technological progress
automation
artificial intelligence
manual labor jobs
unemployment rates
sedentary lifestyle
health issues
obesity
cardiovascular diseases
mental health disorders
social relationships
face-to-face interactions
feelings of loneliness
environmental degradation
production and disposal
pollution
depletion of natural resources
medical science
global communication
information dissemination

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Humans have made a great technological process in the last hundred years. However, this progress has negative effects on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many parts of the world, children's lives were very different from today. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of life for children in the past

Giving lectures in halls to large numbers of people is an outdated method of teaching. With the technology available today there is no justification for it, and everything should be done online. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your next door neighbour owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: Your reason for writing What you would like to happen A nice, respectful style.

Some people think that with the increasing use of mobile phones and computers, people lose the ability to communicate face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more? You should write at least 250 words.