Humans have made a great technological process in the last hundred years. However, this progress has negative effects on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#humans #process #years #progress #effects #people #lives

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Over the

last

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century, significant technological advances have been made.

Such

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advancements

has

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have

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sparked a debate about whether

this

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progress has negative effects on

people

Use synonyms

lives

Use synonyms

or not.

While

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some claim that those improvements are not harmful, I completely believe that they have harmful impacts on individuals.

Firstly

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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technological progress has led

some

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to some

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serious health issues. As technology improves,

people

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's tendency to

inactiviy

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inactivity

increases.

For instance

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, after the invention of transportation

vehicles

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vehicles,

show examples

people

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begin to walk less, causing obesity, diabetes and heart

realted

Correct your spelling

diseases.

Besides

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that, technology made reaching dopamine much easier than ever.

People

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often spend most of their time on

socail

Correct your spelling

social

media platforms or streaming applications,

such

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as Netflix and Amazon Prime, making them get used to high dopamine levels which make them prone to

pshycological

Correct your spelling

psychological

problems

such

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as depression and anxiety .

Secondly

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people

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started to live more artificial

lives

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with the

techonolgical

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technological

improvements. The increasing social media usage is the most important reason for

such

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lives

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People

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create their own profiles

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show examples

those platforms and share whatever they want, it doesn't have to be true.

This

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way

people

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can create their own reality only which can be known by others. There is no way to know how their actual

lives

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are.

Such

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artificial realities cause the individuals who created them to

belive

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believe

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those are their real

lives

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, making them

detch

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detach

detached

from the actual reality. In conclusion,

while

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some argue that

the

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apply

show examples

Correct your spelling

technological

technologocal

Correct your spelling

technological

advancements don't have bad influences on

people

Use synonyms

lives

Use synonyms

Submitted by kalkan_emre on Sat Aug 24 2024

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task achievement

Conclude your essay with a complete sentence that wraps up your argument. This will strengthen your overall response.

coherence cohesion

Try to avoid spelling and grammar mistakes to make your essay more professional and easier to read. Paying extra attention to details will help you to avoid points deductions.

task achievement

Develop your ideas more comprehensively, explaining how each example supports your main point. This will make your argument more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Use devices like conjunctions and connectors to improve the flow between your paragraphs. A smooth transition is important for better coherence.

task achievement

Your essay covers all components of the task and includes relevant examples, which helps illustrate your points clearly.

task achievement

You have used specific examples which strongly support your main arguments and show the negative impact of technological advancements.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

6.5

Logical structure

5.5

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

245 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

technological progress
automation
artificial intelligence
manual labor jobs
unemployment rates
sedentary lifestyle
health issues
obesity
cardiovascular diseases
mental health disorders
social relationships
face-to-face interactions
feelings of loneliness
environmental degradation
production and disposal
pollution
depletion of natural resources
medical science
global communication
information dissemination

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Humans have made a great technological process in the last hundred years. However, this progress has negative effects on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that it is good for a country's culture to import foreign movies and TV shows. Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

should long term job seekers in receipt of government benefits be made to do voluntary work so that they can give something back to the community?

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many doctors say that people in today’s world do not do enough physical exercise. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions are there to these problems?