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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives information about the average annual spending of university students in three dif erent countries.

The table below gives information about the average annual spending of university students in three dif erent countries.
A glance at the given table depicts data on
comparison
Correct article usage
the comparison
show examples
 of university
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
 expenses in the three countries each year.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total spending of
stundent
Correct your spelling
student
students
 in
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 A and
B
Use synonyms
 are
staggering
Change the word
staggeringly
show examples
 higher than students in
country
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
. It is obvious that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of student expenditure in
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 countries is
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
accomadation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
. Total
money
Use synonyms
 spending in
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 A and
B
Use synonyms
 has
the
Correct article usage
apply
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striking similarities
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 average. As mentioned before, the significant proportion
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 spending
money
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 A and
B
Use synonyms
 is
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
 for 45% and 35% respectively.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 food is first in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of
money
Use synonyms
 spending in
country
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
stood
Wrong verb form
standing
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 at 36%
however
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 percentage is 22% and 28 % for
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
A and
B
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 the lowest average
money
Use synonyms
spending
Replace the word
spent
show examples
 is spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 books is negligible 3% in
country
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
, in
country
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 and
country
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 the lowest percentage of
money
Use synonyms
spending
Replace the word
spent
show examples
 belongs to other activities mere 5% and 1%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words country, b, c, money with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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