Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful, but they are also likely to suffer from negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
There is a common belief in many countries that the more average
time
that Use synonyms
workers
in those countries spend for occupation, the more financial achievements they will get but the Use synonyms
society
will encounter significant social problems. I partly agree with Use synonyms
this
assertion. All the elaboration Linking Words
as well as
relevant examples will be illustrated in the upcoming paragraphs.
It is vital to understand that longer working Linking Words
hours
lead to grammatical growth in the economy by boosting productivity. Spending more Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
also
means labour will make more products, which considerably contribute to the Linking Words
GDP
of the whole Use synonyms
society
. Because Use synonyms
workers
have more Use synonyms
time
to deal with their jobs Use synonyms
as well as
increase the number of goods to sell to Linking Words
market
, which aims to meet the needs of consumers Add an article
the market
as well as
generate more income for themselves and for their businesses. China, Linking Words
for instance
, where labourers usually Linking Words
work
for approximately 12 Use synonyms
hours
a day. Use synonyms
Due to
their long Linking Words
hours
of Use synonyms
work
, China is successful in rapidly growing Use synonyms
the
Change the word
its
GDP
. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, having extra Linking Words
time
for Use synonyms
work
may help a lot of Use synonyms
workers
from different fields to deal with their deadlines,especially in some technology-related jobs Use synonyms
such
as Science computer or IT,etc. To prove Linking Words
this
, not only do the staffs finish their job in Linking Words
time
but they Use synonyms
also
reduce their own stress level from a huge amount of Linking Words
work
. From Use synonyms
this
, they can avoid product storage situations, which lead to a result in stable remaining income. Linking Words
Hence
, working for long Linking Words
hours
contributes to economic activity and Use synonyms
also
maintains the Linking Words
GDP
for Use synonyms
society
.
Use synonyms
Although
I agree with the first clause of the statement, I still disagree with the remains. By getting more Linking Words
money
from long Use synonyms
hours
of Use synonyms
work
, employees can invest that Use synonyms
money
in their own lives with varied purposes. First of all, they can use that Use synonyms
money
for the healthcare objective. Use synonyms
For example
, in terms of females will purchase skincare products or for shopping, Linking Words
while
males, enjoy buying some supplements which are supportive of their gymnastic activities. Linking Words
Moreover
, they can invest the extra Linking Words
money
from the added Use synonyms
time
working in real estate for the reason of not worrying about Use synonyms
money
when they get older. Another key which can prove that working for long average Use synonyms
hours
may not bring negative problems to Use synonyms
society
. Use synonyms
That is
because,if the businesses add extra Linking Words
time
working, the Use synonyms
workers
may have extra salaries which are beneficial to both sides. In terms of individual sight, as mentioned above, Use synonyms
workers
will have more Use synonyms
money
to enhance their life standards, Use synonyms
while
businesses will sell more products which involves in significantly boost income and more taxes will be paid back to the government for some social purposes Linking Words
such
as charity activities,etc. Linking Words
Therefore
, working long Linking Words
hours
may enhance the standard for both individuals and Use synonyms
society
.
In conclusion, I partly agree with Use synonyms
this
notion because not only does it increase the Linking Words
GDP
but it Use synonyms
also
beneficially contributes to the whole Linking Words
society
via high taxes.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Your essay answers the question and covers most aspects of the prompt. However, consider refining your arguments and examples to better support your stance. Ensure each paragraph centers on a single main idea.
coherence cohesion
While your essay follows a logical structure, some transitions between ideas can be made smoother. Work on connecting your points more cohesively.
coherence cohesion
Some of your ideas could be expressed more clearly. Try to avoid overly complex sentences that may confuse the reader. Breaking down complex ideas into simpler parts can enhance clarity.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples that support your main points, but more varied and specific examples could strengthen your arguments further.
task achievement
Your essay tackles both sides of the argument and provides a balanced perspective, which shows a high level of understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame your essay, providing a clear starting point and summary.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a good overall structure with paragraphs dedicated to different aspects of the argument.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.