Many museums charged for the admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museum outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Undoubtedly,

museums

Use synonyms

are necessary to keep safe in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

today's world. Multifarious

museums

Use synonyms

have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

particular

entry

Use synonyms

fees

Use synonyms

but some of them do not charge any

admission

Use synonyms

fees

Use synonyms

. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

merits of

Use synonyms

entry

Correct article usage

the entry

show examples

cost to

museums

Use synonyms

outweigh the demerits in the upcoming paragraphs.

To begin

Linking Words

with, not only charging money for

admission

Use synonyms

fees

Use synonyms

galleries

Use synonyms

is lucrative to keep them safe but

also

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

prudent

Add an article

a prudent

show examples

idea for generating revenue for maintenance.

Due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, the government can be able to maintain the ancient

Use synonyms

art

Correct your spelling

artwork

show examples

work

Use synonyms

easily because

this

Linking Words

Change the article

apply

show examples

important to maintain them for

upcoming

Add an article

the upcoming

an upcoming

show examples

generation

Fix the agreement mistake

generations

show examples

. Even though, small

entry

Use synonyms

charges can help

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the authorities to pay for

labour

Correct your spelling

labourers

show examples

, who do maintenance

work

Use synonyms

in the

galleries

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, limiting overcrowding in

art

Use synonyms

galleries

Use synonyms

can be possible by charging

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

admission

Use synonyms

fees

Use synonyms

because

Linking Words

otherwise

Add a comma

otherwise,

show examples

everyone can enter at

same

Add an article

the same

show examples

time

for watching

Change preposition

to watch

show examples

the exhibitions.

For example

Linking Words

, people always go

Change preposition

show examples

free places and they do not think about the importance of place,

this

Linking Words

can cause

damages

Fix the agreement mistake

damage

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the

art

Use synonyms

galleries

Use synonyms

. On the other side, public perception

Change preposition

show examples

cultural values is a part of

negative

Add an article

the negative

show examples

outcome because

museums

Use synonyms

play a vital role

to represent

Change preposition

in representing

show examples

cultural values towards

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

and

this

Linking Words

is possible by visiting the

art

Use synonyms

galleries

Use synonyms

in person. Even though

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

poor

Add an article

the poor

show examples

public

Verb problem

are

show examples

not able to pay the

admission

Use synonyms

fees

Use synonyms

, they are not able to give viewpoints about ancient

Use synonyms

art

Correct your spelling

artwork

show examples

work

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, not only

poor

Add a missing verb

are poor

show examples

folks

Verb problem

apply

show examples

not able to get adequate knowledge about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cultural values but

also

Linking Words

they will not

able

Add a missing verb

be able

show examples

to pay charges for

entry

Use synonyms

fees

Use synonyms

because of low incomes.

To conclude

Linking Words

, an immense amount of advantages are possible after paying

admission

Use synonyms

fees

Use synonyms

for

art

Use synonyms

galleries

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as generating revenue for maintenance and limiting overcrowding.

Also

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

is a prudent idea for taking care of old

Use synonyms

art

Correct your spelling

artwork

show examples

work

Use synonyms

for the upcoming generations.

kulvir1910Sat Aug 24 2024

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task achievement

The essay introduces the topic well, but it would benefit from a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses the question posed by the prompt. Consider adding a sentence that states your position explicitly. Additionally, some sentences can be made more concise and fewer repetitive terms should be used for improved clarity.

coherence cohesion

There is a logical structure to the essay, however, using more varied linking words and phrases would enhance the flow. Some points could also be elaborated further to provide more depth and support. For example, explain more about how charging fees can generate revenue for maintenance or specific examples of successful museums that charge admission.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction sets the stage well for the discussion, and the conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points.

complete response

The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of charging for museum admission, thus providing a balanced view.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

312 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

admission fee
revenue generation
maintenance and improvement
exhibits and programs
socioeconomic diversity
public perception
cultural education
inclusive institutions
visitor experience
overcrowding

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Many museums charged for the admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museum outweigh the disadvantages?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

IELTS essay, topic: Nowadays many people choose ready-made food and refuse to cook at home, why and what are the advantages/disadvantages? Nowadays many people choose ready-made food and refuse to cook at home. Why do you think it happens? What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a choice?

Some people think governments should spend as much money as possible exploring outer space. Others argue they should spend the money for poor people. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that it is effective for students to study in a group at school, while others think it is better to study alone. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some teachers say students should be organised into groups to study. Others argue students should be made to study alone. Discuss both views and give your opinion.