Many museums charged for the admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museum outweigh the disadvantages?

Undoubtedly,
museums
are necessary to keep safe in
the
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apply
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today's world. Multifarious
museums
have
a
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apply
show examples
particular
entry
fees
but some of them do not charge any
admission
fees
. In
this
essay, I will discuss
that
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the
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merits of
entry
Correct article usage
the entry
show examples
cost to
museums
outweigh the demerits in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
with, not only charging money for
admission
fees
to
galleries
is lucrative to keep them safe but
also
this
is
prudent
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a prudent
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idea for generating revenue for maintenance.
Due to
this
, the government can be able to maintain the ancient
art
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artwork
show examples
work
easily because
this
is
an
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apply
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important to maintain them for
upcoming
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the upcoming
an upcoming
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generation
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generations
show examples
. Even though, small
entry
charges can help
to
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apply
show examples
the authorities to pay for
labour
Correct your spelling
labourers
show examples
, who do maintenance
work
in the
galleries
.
Moreover
, limiting overcrowding in
art
galleries
can be possible by charging
the
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apply
show examples
admission
fees
because
otherwise
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otherwise,
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everyone can enter at
same
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the same
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time
for watching
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to watch
show examples
the exhibitions.
For example
, people always go
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
free places and they do not think about the importance of place,
this
can cause
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
art
galleries
. On the other side, public perception
to
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of
show examples
cultural values is a part of
negative
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the negative
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outcome because
museums
play a vital role
to represent
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in representing
show examples
cultural values towards
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
and
this
is possible by visiting the
art
galleries
in person. Even though
,
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apply
show examples
poor
Add an article
the poor
show examples
public
do
Verb problem
are
show examples
not able to pay the
admission
fees
, they are not able to give viewpoints about ancient
art
Correct your spelling
artwork
show examples
work
.
For example
, not only
poor
Add a missing verb
are poor
show examples
folks
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not able to get adequate knowledge about
the
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apply
show examples
cultural values but
also
they will not
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
to pay charges for
entry
fees
because of low incomes.
To conclude
, an immense amount of advantages are possible after paying
admission
fees
for
art
galleries
such
as generating revenue for maintenance and limiting overcrowding.
Also
,
this
is a prudent idea for taking care of old
art
Correct your spelling
artwork
show examples
work
for the upcoming generations.
Submitted by kulvir1910 on

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task achievement
The essay introduces the topic well, but it would benefit from a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses the question posed by the prompt. Consider adding a sentence that states your position explicitly. Additionally, some sentences can be made more concise and fewer repetitive terms should be used for improved clarity.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical structure to the essay, however, using more varied linking words and phrases would enhance the flow. Some points could also be elaborated further to provide more depth and support. For example, explain more about how charging fees can generate revenue for maintenance or specific examples of successful museums that charge admission.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction sets the stage well for the discussion, and the conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points.
complete response
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of charging for museum admission, thus providing a balanced view.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • admission fee
  • revenue generation
  • maintenance and improvement
  • exhibits and programs
  • socioeconomic diversity
  • public perception
  • cultural education
  • inclusive institutions
  • visitor experience
  • overcrowding
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