Many museums charged for the admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museum outweigh the disadvantages?
Undoubtedly,
museums
are necessary to keep safe in the
today's world. Multifarious Correct article usage
apply
museums
have a
particular Correct article usage
apply
entry
fees
but some of them do not charge any admission
fees
. In this
essay, I will discuss that
merits of Correct determiner usage
the
entry
cost to Correct article usage
the entry
museums
outweigh the demerits in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
with, not only charging money for admission
fees
to galleries
is lucrative to keep them safe but also
this
is prudent
idea for generating revenue for maintenance. Add an article
a prudent
Due to
this
, the government can be able to maintain the ancient art
Correct your spelling
artwork
work
easily because this
is an
important to maintain them for Change the article
apply
upcoming
Add an article
the upcoming
an upcoming
generation
. Even though, small Fix the agreement mistake
generations
entry
charges can help to
the authorities to pay for Change preposition
apply
labour
, who do maintenance Correct your spelling
labourers
work
in the galleries
. Moreover
, limiting overcrowding in art
galleries
can be possible by charging the
Correct article usage
apply
admission
fees
because otherwise
everyone can enter at Add a comma
otherwise,
same
time Add an article
the same
for watching
the exhibitions. Change preposition
to watch
For example
, people always go on
free places and they do not think about the importance of place, Change preposition
to
this
can cause damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
in
the Change preposition
to
art
galleries
.
On the other side, public perception to
cultural values is a part of Change preposition
of
negative
outcome because Add an article
the negative
museums
play a vital role to represent
cultural values towards Change preposition
in representing
public
and Correct article usage
the public
this
is possible by visiting the art
galleries
in person. Even though,
Remove the comma
apply
poor
public Add an article
the poor
do
not able to pay the Verb problem
are
admission
fees
, they are not able to give viewpoints about ancient art
Correct your spelling
artwork
work
. For example
, not only poor
folks Add a missing verb
are poor
do
not able to get adequate knowledge about Verb problem
apply
the
cultural values but Correct article usage
apply
also
they will not able
to pay charges for Add a missing verb
be able
entry
fees
because of low incomes.
To conclude
, an immense amount of advantages are possible after paying admission
fees
for art
galleries
such
as generating revenue for maintenance and limiting overcrowding. Also
, this
is a prudent idea for taking care of old art
Correct your spelling
artwork
work
for the upcoming generations.Submitted by kulvir1910 on
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task achievement
The essay introduces the topic well, but it would benefit from a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses the question posed by the prompt. Consider adding a sentence that states your position explicitly. Additionally, some sentences can be made more concise and fewer repetitive terms should be used for improved clarity.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical structure to the essay, however, using more varied linking words and phrases would enhance the flow. Some points could also be elaborated further to provide more depth and support. For example, explain more about how charging fees can generate revenue for maintenance or specific examples of successful museums that charge admission.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction sets the stage well for the discussion, and the conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points.
complete response
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of charging for museum admission, thus providing a balanced view.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.