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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The table shows the result of a survey by a magazine about what kind of articles people of different age groups like to read. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows the result of a survey by a magazine about what kind of articles people of different age groups like to read. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#survey #magazine #articles #people #age #groups #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The table shows the outcome published by a magazine of a survey for
range
Add an article
a range
show examples
 of
age
 groups who like to read about a variety of
articles
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Trending
topics
, lifestyle,
travel
 and entertainment. The
number
 of peoples are listed in thousands.
Overall
, the individuals from the first two
age
 groups (16-25 and 26-35) like to read more about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trending
topics
 and
travel
 related
article
Fix the agreement mistake
articles
show examples
,
while
 people from
age
 groups
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
36-45 and 46-55 are more involved in magazine
articles
 about lifestyle and entertainment. In the
age
group
 of 16-25, around 52,000
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
youngsters and adults read about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trending
topics
,
also
 the same
group
 is likely to be interested in
travel
also
, as there are around 51,000
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals who like to read out
articles
 related to
travel
 information.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
 similar
number
 of readers are in the 26-35
age
group
, where around 51,000 of them like to read about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trending
topics
 and
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 50,000 are interested in
travel
. The information of people ranging between the
age
 of 36-45
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 seen
more
Change preposition
as more
show examples
 interested in DIY, with around 40,000 readers marking the highest
number
 in
this
 particular topic. The lowest
number
 of readers who are less interested in
articles
 about trending
topics
 and
travel
 are from the
group
 of
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 whose
age
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
range is 34-45 and 46-55.
Submitted by patelvaibhav1463 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, articles, topics, travel, number, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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