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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows the result of a survey by a magazine about what kind of articles people of different age groups like to read. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows the result of a survey by a magazine about what kind of articles people of different age groups like to read. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#survey #magazine #articles #people #age #groups #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The table shows the outcome published by a magazine of a survey for
range
Add an article
a range
show examples
 of
age
Use synonyms
 groups who like to read about a variety of
articles
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Trending
topics
Use synonyms
, lifestyle,
travel
Use synonyms
 and entertainment. The
number
Use synonyms
 of peoples are listed in thousands.
Overall
Linking Words
, the individuals from the first two
age
Use synonyms
 groups (16-25 and 26-35) like to read more about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trending
topics
Use synonyms
 and
travel
Use synonyms
 related
article
Fix the agreement mistake
articles
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 people from
age
Use synonyms
 groups
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
36-45 and 46-55 are more involved in magazine
articles
Use synonyms
 about lifestyle and entertainment. In the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 of 16-25, around 52,000
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
youngsters and adults read about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trending
topics
Use synonyms
,
also
Linking Words
 the same
group
Use synonyms
 is likely to be interested in
travel
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
, as there are around 51,000
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals who like to read out
articles
Use synonyms
 related to
travel
Use synonyms
 information.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
 similar
number
Use synonyms
 of readers are in the 26-35
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
, where around 51,000 of them like to read about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trending
topics
Use synonyms
 and
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 50,000 are interested in
travel
Use synonyms
. The information of people ranging between the
age
Use synonyms
 of 36-45
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 seen
more
Change preposition
as more
show examples
 interested in DIY, with around 40,000 readers marking the highest
number
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 particular topic. The lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of readers who are less interested in
articles
Use synonyms
 about trending
topics
Use synonyms
 and
travel
Use synonyms
 are from the
group
Use synonyms
 of
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 whose
age
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
range is 34-45 and 46-55.
Submitted by patelvaibhav1463 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, articles, topics, travel, number, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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