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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy ni 20 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy ni 20 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie charts demonstrate the population ages of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and the prediction for 2050. 
Overall
Linking Words
, Almost the majority of the
populations
Fix the agreement mistake
population
show examples
 in both countries
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 between 15 to 59
years
Use synonyms
 old in
Change the article
the year
show examples
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 2000 and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2050. In Yemen, it was illustrated that half of the population
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 in the range of 0 to 14
years
Use synonyms
 old, but in 2050, it's expected to decline to 37%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the group of 15 to 59
years
Use synonyms
 old are projected to incline from 46.3% to 57.3%. For people who are 60
years
Use synonyms
 old and above, it is claimed to elevate
also
Linking Words
 from 3.6% to 5.7%. For Italy, Most of the population in 2000
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
in
Change preposition
between
show examples
 the ages of 15 to 59
years
Use synonyms
 old and
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
 is expected to
be decrease
Change the verb form
decrease
show examples
 from 61.6% to 46.2%. For the ages of 0 to 14
years
Use synonyms
 old, it is expected to decline
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 2.8%.
However
Linking Words
, the only group
that is
Linking Words
 estimated to
be increased
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
 is the age group of 60
years
Use synonyms
 old and above, it is expected to increase from 24.1% to 42.3%.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • population distribution
  • age group
  • young population
  • mature population
  • aging society
  • demographic shift
  • proportion
  • dominant
  • balanced distribution
  • projected increase
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