Some companies sponsor sport as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good for the world of sports, while others think there are disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Sport
Use synonyms
is
one
Use synonyms
of the most popular
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
that
people
Use synonyms
do nowadays, from children to adults
everbody
Correct your spelling
everybody
loves
sport
Use synonyms
.
Furhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
also
Linking Words
become
one
Use synonyms
of many ways
companies
Use synonyms
advertise their products. Some
people
Use synonyms
believe it
gives
Verb problem
has
show examples
beneficial
Add an article
a beneficial
show examples
impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
the world of
sports
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
others argue it could lead to negative development. I firmly agree that promoting
sports
Use synonyms
through
companies
Use synonyms
is a good way.
This
Linking Words
essay will explore why
this
Linking Words
is good or not. On the
one
Use synonyms
hand,
companies
Use synonyms
exert many benefits for
sports
Use synonyms
itself.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they can assist some
sports
Use synonyms
that have financial
burden
Fix the agreement mistake
burdens
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, football clubs need to pay their player salaries,
companies
Use synonyms
can help them by providing financial aid.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
companies
Use synonyms
provide facilities and bonuses for the
athlete
Fix the agreement mistake
athletes
show examples
that have a contract with them.
This
Linking Words
is a very good condition, both for the athlete and the
companies
Use synonyms
, the
company
Use synonyms
will receive exposure from the public and the athlete will be ensured their career growth.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
consider that it could bring many drawbacks.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the world of
sports
Use synonyms
will really rely on the
company
Use synonyms
to run the industry.
For instance
Linking Words
, without any
company
Use synonyms
to invest in
competition
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
show examples
such
Linking Words
as basketball
league
Fix the agreement mistake
leagues
show examples
, the competition will not run.
Secondly
Linking Words
, collaboration from both parties will impact each other attention. If
one
Use synonyms
of them is on the wrong track, the other
one
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
will get the impact. In conclusion, the benefits of
companies
Use synonyms
investing in the world of
sports
Use synonyms
outweigh its drawbacks.
It
Add a verb
It is
It was
show examples
really beneficial for both parties. The
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
industry will gain
supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
show examples
from the
company
Use synonyms
and the
company
Use synonyms
will attract
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
attention. I
undoubtely
Correct your spelling
undoubtedly
agree
Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with
show examples
the idea that
companies
Use synonyms
should
colaborate
Correct your spelling
collaborate
with the
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
industry.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Although your essay is generally well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, consider enhancing the logical flow between paragraphs. This can be done by adding more transitional sentences that link each point seamlessly.
task achievement
Your essay responds effectively to the task and covers both perspectives, but try to delve a bit deeper into the arguments presented. Providing more detailed examples and elaborating on the potential consequences could strengthen your response.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both views regarding companies sponsoring sports, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have a well-defined introduction and conclusion. These sections effectively set the stage for and wrap up your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sponsor
  • advertisement
  • financial support
  • athletes
  • sporting events
  • visibility
  • popularity
  • promotion
  • marketing
  • integrity
  • commercialized
  • profit-driven
  • unequal distribution
  • pressure
  • corporate interests
  • grassroots level
What to do next:
Look at other essays: