Some companies sponsor sport as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good for the world of sports, while others think there are disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Sport
is
one
of the most popular
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
that
people
do nowadays, from children to adults
everbody
Correct your spelling
everybody
loves
sport
.
Furhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
also
become
one
of many ways
companies
advertise their products. Some
people
believe it
gives
Verb problem
has
show examples
beneficial
Add an article
a beneficial
show examples
impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
the world of
sports
,
while
others argue it could lead to negative development. I firmly agree that promoting
sports
through
companies
is a good way.
This
essay will explore why
this
is good or not. On the
one
hand,
companies
exert many benefits for
sports
itself.
Firstly
, they can assist some
sports
that have financial
burden
Fix the agreement mistake
burdens
show examples
.
For example
, football clubs need to pay their player salaries,
companies
can help them by providing financial aid.
Secondly
,
companies
provide facilities and bonuses for the
athlete
Fix the agreement mistake
athletes
show examples
that have a contract with them.
This
is a very good condition, both for the athlete and the
companies
, the
company
will receive exposure from the public and the athlete will be ensured their career growth.
On the other hand
, some
people
consider that it could bring many drawbacks.
Firstly
, the world of
sports
will really rely on the
company
to run the industry.
For instance
, without any
company
to invest in
competition
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
show examples
such
as basketball
league
Fix the agreement mistake
leagues
show examples
, the competition will not run.
Secondly
, collaboration from both parties will impact each other attention. If
one
of them is on the wrong track, the other
one
also
will get the impact. In conclusion, the benefits of
companies
investing in the world of
sports
outweigh its drawbacks.
It
Add a verb
It is
It was
show examples
really beneficial for both parties. The
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
industry will gain
supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
show examples
from the
company
and the
company
will attract
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
attention. I
undoubtely
Correct your spelling
undoubtedly
agree
Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with
show examples
the idea that
companies
should
colaborate
Correct your spelling
collaborate
with the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
industry.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
Although your essay is generally well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, consider enhancing the logical flow between paragraphs. This can be done by adding more transitional sentences that link each point seamlessly.
task achievement
Your essay responds effectively to the task and covers both perspectives, but try to delve a bit deeper into the arguments presented. Providing more detailed examples and elaborating on the potential consequences could strengthen your response.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both views regarding companies sponsoring sports, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have a well-defined introduction and conclusion. These sections effectively set the stage for and wrap up your arguments.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sponsor
  • advertisement
  • financial support
  • athletes
  • sporting events
  • visibility
  • popularity
  • promotion
  • marketing
  • integrity
  • commercialized
  • profit-driven
  • unequal distribution
  • pressure
  • corporate interests
  • grassroots level
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