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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram illustrates the basic principles of biofuel production.

The diagram illustrates the basic principles of biofuel production.
The diagram illustrates the basic principles of biofuel production. The process includes
the
Correct article usage
a
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 rounded circle of processes, which are strongly related
with
Change preposition
to
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 each other. The ethanol is taken in
lab
Add an article
the lab
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 and after
that
Add a comma
that,
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 it creates a chain of energy in several processes. First of all, ethanol is
synthesed
Correct your spelling
synthesised
synthesized
 from sugars with added microbes. It
then
Linking Words
 flows into different types of transport
such
Linking Words
 as cars, trucks and planes, which
made
Wrong verb form
make
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 greenhouse gases including carbon dioxide. Carbon dioxide goes by the
athmosphere
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
 to the next chain of the process, trees. Trees take
an
Remove the article
apply
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energy from sunlight and carbon dioxide and
then
Linking Words
creating
Wrong verb form
create
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an
Remove the article
apply
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oxygen. After that, the plants and trees are
harvesting
Wrong verb form
harvested
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 and
going
Wrong verb form
go
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 to
next
Correct article usage
the next
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 stage
by
Change preposition
in
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 the agricultural sphere. The resulting products
being
Wrong verb form
are
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 pre-processed and transformed
to
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into
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 cellulose. Cellulose is
processing
Wrong verb form
processed
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to
Change preposition
into
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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sugars and
starting
Wrong verb form
starts
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 a new chain of biofuel production. It is interesting to note that
a
Correct article usage
apply
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biofuel production
have
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has
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 an infinite cycle and opportunity to recreate
an
Remove the article
apply
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energy.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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