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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about the purpose of visits to five cities in the uk in 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about the purpose of visits to five cities in the uk in 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #purpose #visits #five #cities #uk #summarise #features #comparisons
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The bar chart illustrates the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 visiting London,
Edinburgh
Use synonyms
,
Mandester
Correct your spelling
Manchester
,
Birminghem
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Birmingham
 and Liverpool in
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
 cities in the period of 2013
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 4 categories holiday,
business
Use synonyms
, visiting friends or relatives and others. In general, people who visited
Edinburgh
Use synonyms
 were most for the
purpoes
Correct your spelling
purposes
purpose
 of
holidy
Correct your spelling
holiday
on the other hand
Linking Words
, the number of people who visited
Birmighem
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Birmingham
 for
business
Use synonyms
 were more than London,
Edinbrgh
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Edinburgh
, Manchester and
liver pool
Correct your spelling
Liver Pool
show examples
. As we can see,
Eninburgh
Correct your spelling
Edinburgh
 had around 68% of
vsitors
Correct your spelling
visitors
 arriving for holiday, which was about three
times
Use synonyms
 higher than the portion of visiting friends or relates. Meanwhile,
miscellaneus
Correct your spelling
miscellaneous
 was five
times
Use synonyms
 lower. than the 10% of
business
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
business
Use synonyms
 and visiting friends and relatives had
appoximately
Correct your spelling
approximately
 8% of düfference in between.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Burmingham
Correct your spelling
Birmingham
 had the lowest visitors
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 holiday, which was three
times
Use synonyms
 lower the
Edinburgh
Use synonyms
 and a third of London,
while
Linking Words
 Birmingham held the highest in
business
Use synonyms
,
in other words
Linking Words
,
fire
Correct your spelling
five
show examples
times
Use synonyms
 higher than the lowest of 10% for
Edinburgh
Use synonyms
, Liver pool had the same portion of
business
Use synonyms
 and
miscellineous
Correct your spelling
miscellaneous
.
Submitted by brierleysteven1 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words edinburgh, business, times with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • visitor trends
  • purpose of visit
  • business trips
  • holiday destinations
  • visiting friends and relatives
  • comparative analysis
  • discernible patterns
  • infrastructure
  • tourism appeal
  • statistical data
  • urban attractiveness
  • visitor demographics
  • tourist inflow
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