IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that people who read books can develop more imagination and language skills than those who prefer to watch TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #books #imagination #language #skills #tv
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Reading
books
Use synonyms
 is essential for human beings; it will have a positive effect and increase human knowledge, which is one of the ways everyone becomes smarter. I completely agree with the idea these reading
books
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 better. I still believe
that is
Linking Words
 a necessary aspect of education. There are several
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
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 why
people
Use synonyms
 should argue reading
books
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 is crucial for everyone.
Firstly
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, there is evidence to support the idea that reading
books
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 improves education, which is one of the keys to success in the future.
Secondly
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, reading
books
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 has become popular because a
lot
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 of
people
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 prefer to get the idea to become writers
due to
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read
Change the verb form
reading
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 any
books
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 to inspire them.
Finally
Linking Words
, there will be no coos that you will get from reading a
lot
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 of
books
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. In spite of the above argument, I support the system when governments must make programs for the young generation, it will change bad habits.
For example
Linking Words
, countries
such
Linking Words
 as Japan, Australia, and Finland that provide equipment in every place must have
Use synonyms
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of knowledge, and they always instill habits of reading
books
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is
Correct your spelling
as
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window
Add an article
a window
the window
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 of the world.
As
Linking Words
well
Correct your spelling
will
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as
Correct your spelling
a
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 positive effect on children until grow up and as we know there are many products they create when finished studying.
However
Linking Words
, watching TV
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also
Add a missing verb
is also
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 less effective
to
Change preposition
for
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number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
people
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 because sometimes learning without reading
also
Linking Words
 gives more
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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 indirectly. Just in case I stand in smarter
people
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. A smart person or the best writer should read 
books
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 and do a 
lot
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 of practice. In conclusion, everywhere we find smart
people
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 because they always read
books
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 and become popular without extra exercise, which has a negative effect on developing ideas, and success
will come
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
Submitted by arniaqlina44 on

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task achievement
While the essay presents a clear position and provides arguments to support it, some points need further elaboration. Include more specific examples and details to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are unclear, possibly due to minor grammatical errors or awkward phrasing. Revising these sentences for clarity and flow will improve the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which outlines and summarizes the main points effectively.
task achievement
You have provided several arguments to support your position, which demonstrates an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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