IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that people who read books can develop more imagination and language skills than those who prefer to watch TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #books #imagination #language #skills #tv
Reading
books
 is essential for human beings; it will have a positive effect and increase human knowledge, which is one of the ways everyone becomes smarter. I completely agree with the idea these reading
books
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 better. I still believe
that is
 a necessary aspect of education. There are several
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 why
people
 should argue reading
books
 is crucial for everyone.
Firstly
, there is evidence to support the idea that reading
books
 improves education, which is one of the keys to success in the future.
Secondly
, reading
books
 has become popular because a
lot
 of
people
 prefer to get the idea to become writers
due to
 
read
Change the verb form
reading
show examples
 any
books
 to inspire them.
Finally
, there will be no coos that you will get from reading a
lot
 of
books
. In spite of the above argument, I support the system when governments must make programs for the young generation, it will change bad habits.
For example
, countries
such
 as Japan, Australia, and Finland that provide equipment in every place must have
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of knowledge, and they always instill habits of reading
books
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
window
Add an article
a window
the window
show examples
 of the world.
As
well
Correct your spelling
will
show examples
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 positive effect on children until grow up and as we know there are many products they create when finished studying.
However
, watching TV
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 less effective
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
people
 because sometimes learning without reading
also
 gives more
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 indirectly. Just in case I stand in smarter
people
. A smart person or the best writer should read 
books
 and do a 
lot
 of practice. In conclusion, everywhere we find smart
people
 because they always read
books
 and become popular without extra exercise, which has a negative effect on developing ideas, and success
will come
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
Submitted by arniaqlina44 on

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task achievement
While the essay presents a clear position and provides arguments to support it, some points need further elaboration. Include more specific examples and details to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are unclear, possibly due to minor grammatical errors or awkward phrasing. Revising these sentences for clarity and flow will improve the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which outlines and summarizes the main points effectively.
task achievement
You have provided several arguments to support your position, which demonstrates an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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