It is common aspiration among many young people to run their own business, rather than work for an employer. Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks?

#aspiration #people #business #work #employer

Since the beginning of the

industrial revolution

Correct your spelling

Industrial Revolution

show examples

, a great amount of public interest has been stimulated by capitalist entrepreneur culture to start their very own

business

and to

this

day, many individuals and more distinctly, youngsters tend to thrive on building a

business

rather than working as an employee. I think when compared with employment, becoming an

entreprenuer

Correct your spelling

entrepreneur

comes with a plethora of advantages with limited drawbacks. Starting a

business

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

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many advantages over working as an employee the most important of which is gaining independence. When you are your own boss, you have the freedom to make the decisions that are crucial to your own

business

success.

This

will eventually lead to assessing a

succesful

Correct your spelling

successful

occupation and

guranteeing

Correct your spelling

guaranteeing

your senior years.

Moreover

, being in charge of handling all aspects of the job, creates many learning opportunities. When

wresting

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wrestling

show examples

with

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

and having no one to help you with them, you will slowly learn

Change preposition

apply

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how to handle every problem.

This

situation creates numerous opportunities to gain a thorough understanding of the various

business

functions.

On the other

hand

Add a comma

hand,

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there is a downside to choosing

being

Change the verb form

to be

show examples

an "

entreployee

Correct your spelling

employee

Firstly

, substantial capital is needed to start a

business

. One may need to commit most of his savings or even go into debt to get started and

this

risk is even more extensive for youngsters with little financial resources. If things do not go as

predectied

Correct your spelling

predicted

, the founder may be faced with thousands of

dollar

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dollars

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in loss.

Secondly

, running a

business

Change the article

apply

show examples

extremely time-consuming.

Although

often

poeple

Correct your spelling

people

start businesses to have more time to spend with their families and friends, most probably they will not be able to get away.

Consequently

, the youth may regret having allocated their springtime to setting up financial success. In conclusion, in spite of all the disadvantages, entrepreneurship provides a fresh start and countless

potentials

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potential

show examples

for a young person.

Submitted by ronakdorrii on Sun Aug 25 2024

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

313 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

aspiration
entrepreneur
flexibility
decision-making
financial rewards
personal fulfillment
challenges
financial risk
invested capital
cash flow
guaranteed income
work-life balance
responsibility
pressure
burnout

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It is common aspiration among many young people to run their own business, rather than work for an employer. Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks?

Fully explain your ideas

Some countries encourage foreign companies to open in their country. Many people think that the government should focus on encouraging local business rather than foreign businesses. To what extent do you agree? (reported 2021, 2023)

In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

Education and health care should be funded by the government and free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

At the present, the population some countries includes relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do advantages of this situation outweigh the diadvantages?