Some people think that the best way to be successful in life is to get a university education. Others disagree and say this is no longer true.
It is universally accepted that earning a
degree
can qualify a high level of educational background, which can lead to an achievement in life, while
he
opponents view Correct your spelling
the
the
education is no longer necessary in Correct your spelling
that
this
era. To my way of thinking, I personally believe having a
success in life does not need a Remove the article
apply
degree
. However
, this
essay will provide both aspects in the following paragraphs.
On the one hand, one of the primary reasons why learning an academic is crucial would be an opportunity in Correct article usage
a career's
career's
path. Change noun form
career
This
can be explained by the fact that those who have held a degree
or graduated from university
are likely to apply for Correct article usage
a university
job
. In the contemporary world, a number of reputable firms and companies would prefer Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
the
employees who have a higher level of educational background as they can professionally apply theoretical knowledge to working performance. Take Correct article usage
apply
this
job as example
, being an engineer would require a Add an article
an example
highly-educated
skill in terms of both theoretical knowledge Correct your spelling
highly educated
practical
performance. If Correct word choice
and practical
ones
would like to apply for Replace the word
one
this
position, it is necessary that they
should have Correct pronoun usage
one
qualified
education, particularly a Correct article usage
a qualified
degree
.
On the other hand
, there are a number of several factors which
the learners can achieve their success without receiving a higher level of educational attainment.
First and foremost, passion and Change preposition
in which
talents
are both fascinating skills to achieve Fix the agreement mistake
talent
the
goals. Correct article usage
apply
This
would mean that those who have talents are undoubtedly have
more advantages when Change the verb form
undoubtedly have
practicing
.
To put it simply, taking everything into consideration Change the spelling
practising
while
it is true to say that those who have graduated from
at least Change preposition
with
bachelor's
Correct article usage
a bachelor's
degree
will have further
opportunities for applying
a job, in fact, I personally do view having innate abilities, Add the preposition
applying for
such
as talent and passion, are the key factors to success.Submitted by jubjangjuda on
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introduction conclusion
While the introduction and conclusion were present and clear, the essay could benefit from a stronger thesis statement clearly outlining the main arguments.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. The second paragraph, for example, discusses both career opportunities and practical performance, which can be split into separate paragraphs for clarity.
relevant specific examples
The essay makes some relevant points but could be strengthened with more specific examples and clearer explanations. For instance, provide specific examples of individuals who have succeeded without a degree.
complete response
The ideas presented in the essay should be elaborated on to fully cover both sides of the argument. Try to develop each point with more detail and depth.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay provides a balanced view by discussing both perspectives on the topic, which is commendable.
introduction conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly identifiable, providing a clear structure to the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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