Some people think that the best way to be successful in life is to get a university education. Others disagree and say this is no longer true.

It is universally accepted that earning a
degree
can qualify a high level of educational background, which can lead to an achievement in life,
while
he
Correct your spelling
the
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opponents view
the
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that
show examples
education is no longer necessary in
this
era. To my way of thinking, I personally believe having
a
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apply
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success in life does not need a
degree
.
However
,
this
essay will provide both aspects in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, one of the primary reasons why learning an academic is crucial would be an opportunity in
Correct article usage
a career's
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career's
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career
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path.
This
can be explained by the fact that those who have held a
degree
or graduated from
university
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a university
show examples
are likely to apply for
job
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jobs
show examples
. In the contemporary world, a number of reputable firms and companies would prefer
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employees who have a higher level of educational background as they can professionally apply theoretical knowledge to working performance. Take
this
job as
example
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an example
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, being an engineer would require a
highly-educated
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highly educated
show examples
skill in terms of both theoretical knowledge
practical
Correct word choice
and practical
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performance. If
ones
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one
show examples
would like to apply for
this
position, it is necessary that
they
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one
show examples
should have
qualified
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a qualified
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education, particularly a
degree
.
On the other hand
, there are a number of several factors
which
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in which
show examples
the learners can achieve their success without receiving a higher level of educational attainment. First and foremost, passion and
talents
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talent
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are both fascinating skills to achieve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
goals.
This
would mean that those who have talents
are undoubtedly have
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undoubtedly have
show examples
more advantages when
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
. To put it simply, taking everything into consideration
while
it is true to say that those who have graduated
from
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with
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at least
bachelor's
Correct article usage
a bachelor's
show examples
degree
will have
further
opportunities for
applying
Add the preposition
applying for
show examples
a job, in fact, I personally do view having innate abilities,
such
as talent and passion, are the key factors to success.
Submitted by jubjangjuda on

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introduction conclusion
While the introduction and conclusion were present and clear, the essay could benefit from a stronger thesis statement clearly outlining the main arguments.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. The second paragraph, for example, discusses both career opportunities and practical performance, which can be split into separate paragraphs for clarity.
relevant specific examples
The essay makes some relevant points but could be strengthened with more specific examples and clearer explanations. For instance, provide specific examples of individuals who have succeeded without a degree.
complete response
The ideas presented in the essay should be elaborated on to fully cover both sides of the argument. Try to develop each point with more detail and depth.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay provides a balanced view by discussing both perspectives on the topic, which is commendable.
introduction conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly identifiable, providing a clear structure to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • university degree
  • specialized knowledge
  • critical thinking skills
  • networking opportunities
  • vocational training
  • self-made entrepreneurs
  • gig economy
  • online courses
  • certifications
  • formal education
  • practical experience
  • lifelong learning
  • career goals
  • individual circumstances
  • academic qualifications
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