56. Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend most of their time on school studies. Others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing. Compare these two views. Which view do you agree with? Why?
There is a
spilt
opinion regarding Correct your spelling
split
to
how Remove the preposition
apply
children
should spend their time
. Some believes
that Change the verb form
believe
children
significantly need to use their time
though-out
Correct your spelling
throughout
to
school studies to enhance their Change preposition
apply
education
process, whereas
another group of thinkers support that kids should use time
more on playing rather than studying. However
both Add a comma
However,
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
it
pros and cons. Correct pronoun usage
their
Therefore
, before commenting on my decision, both the
opinions would be discussed.
Examining the Correct article usage
apply
farmer
opinion, Fix the agreement mistake
farmers
children
’s education
is crucial
path for Add an article
a crucial
them
future. To elaborate more, spending Change the pronoun
their
time
on somethings
useful Fix the agreement mistake
something
such
as learning is
develop Unnecessary verb
apply
Correct article usage
a child
child
knowledge and cognitive thinking. Change noun form
child's
For example
, there are summer schools present
entertainment curriculums which help students Correct pronoun usage
that present
ti
promote their mental skills and Correct your spelling
to
it
prepare them Correct pronoun usage
apply
to
the next level at school. Change preposition
for
As a result
, children
become with
more knowledge and Verb problem
need
education
experience to be successful learning
Change preposition
in learning
compare
with his/ her Wrong verb form
compared
peer
. Fix the agreement mistake
peers
In addition
, they also
believe that a very early age plays a dramatically
role in Change the adverb
dramatic
child
development and the experience child
gathering through study will influence positively on enter life.
Correct article usage
a child
On the contrary
, the later
view Correct your spelling
latter
suggest
that playing is Change the verb form
suggests
essential
part Add an article
an essential
on
young Change preposition
of
children
. They need to build their social environment via
playing with others. To explain, the idea of sharing and playing with another Change preposition
by
child
establishes a sense of communication and challenge between each others
. So. They will ameliorate the individual’s personality and they will have a strong independent person in future who can avoid any problems. Change to a singular noun
other
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
this
, spend
more Wrong verb form
spending
time
at
playing reduces Change preposition
apply
child’s
super-activity; some kids Correct article usage
a child’s
had
energy and power inside them ,so Wrong verb form
have
the
need to decrease it by playing to not Correct your spelling
they
herd
themself.
Verb problem
hurt
To
conclusion, Change preposition
In
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
time
on
studying articles and books will develop cognitive knowledge Change preposition
apply
as well as
preparing
Wrong verb form
prepare
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
to
Change preposition
for
next
level at school , Correct article usage
the next
while
employ
Change the verb form
employing
time
on
playing establishes a good personality of Change preposition
for
child
Add an article
a child
the child
at nearly
future. In my perspective, parents should Rephrase
in the near
to
balance Change the verb form
apply
time
to
their Change preposition
with
children
to present a
excellent Change the article
an
education
and entertainment
childhood via using Replace the word
entertaining
time
to develop Add an article
the time
children
’s abilities in all aspects of scientific and practical life.Submitted by sheikha1996mohammed on
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The essay presents a balanced view and considers both perspectives on the topic.
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