Children are facing more pressure from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of such pressure? What measures can be taken to reduce it?

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Youngth

oftenly

Correct your spelling

often

getting

Wrong verb form

gets

show examples

pressure from academic, social, and commercial perspectives. It is because of the weak system of our world and

best

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the best

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solution for

this

Linking Words

can

strengh

Correct your spelling

strengthen

Linking Words

this aspects

Change the determiner

this aspect

these aspects

show examples

. If we just pay attention to how the current

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

learning

Wrong verb form

learn

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in schools, we can see that the many bad things happening

for

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show examples

children

Use synonyms

and

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

often can not reduce

this

Linking Words

problem.

Bulling

Correct your spelling

Bullying

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from the

classsmates

Correct your spelling

classmates

or even from teachers can give

Add an article

the kid

a kid

show examples

kid

Fix the agreement mistake

kids

show examples

a lot of

complex

Replace the word

complexity

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about

himself

Correct pronoun usage

themselves

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, my little brother the

victin

Correct your spelling

victim

victims

such

Linking Words

situation

Correct article usage

a situation

show examples

. He told my parents how classmates exclude him from

everythings

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everything

because

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apply

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he has a little bit more weight and we can not

imagin

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imagine

what feels

children

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

situatim

Correct your spelling

situation

. It is

awfull

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awful

awfully

For

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show examples

decline

this

Linking Words

badness, we should

learn

Verb problem

teach

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children

Use synonyms

that

this

Linking Words

is not good and if it

is happens

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happens

show examples

the punishment will be strong. If there

bulling

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bullying

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from teachers we just must

excude

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exclude

exude

excuse

from work or in extreme

case

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cases

show examples

use

law

Correct article usage

the law

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, when my brother told us

what's

Wrong verb form

what was

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going on we imidently went to school

with

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show examples

complain

Replace the word

complaint

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and

demand

Wrong verb form

demanded

show examples

the action from teachers and

few

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a few

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days later there was a big meeting about

this

Linking Words

accindent

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incident

. Of course, in

Correct article usage

the beggining

show examples

Correct your spelling

beginning

beggining

Add a comma

beggining,

show examples

there was no change, but after

year

Correct article usage

a year

show examples

my brother started

tolding

Correct your spelling

telling

me about his school friend. In conclusion, some students get pressure in society and it is because of a weak system in schools. So the punishment and saying a lot about

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

things to

children

Use synonyms

is the only solution for

this

Linking Words

phenomenon.

KawasakiSun Aug 25 2024

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task achievement

To improve the task response, ensure that both causes and solutions are addressed in detail. The essay hints at some causes but doesn't elaborate on them extensively. Similarly, solutions are mentioned but are not deeply discussed.

coherence and cohesion

Focus on organizing ideas in a logical order. While the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, the body paragraphs could be better structured to enhance readability and connectivity of ideas. Make use of transition words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

language use and accuracy

Work on grammatical accuracy and use of vocabulary. There are several grammatical inaccuracies and spelling errors that can be minimized with careful proofreading or using grammar-check tools. Enhancing vocabulary will also help in expressing ideas more effectively.

task achievement

The essay addresses a relevant and critical issue, showing a commendable understanding of the pressure faced by children in different aspects of their lives.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a frame for the discussion, which is crucial for a well-rounded essay.

task achievement

Personal experiences add a touch of authenticity to the essay, making the arguments more relatable and impactful.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
41
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Children are facing more pressure from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of such pressure? What measures can be taken to reduce it?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Museums and art galleries should concentrate on local works rather than showing the cultures or artworks from other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

In some places old age is value, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Formal examinations are the only effective way to assess a student's performance. Continual assessment such as coursework and projects is not a satisfactory way to do this. Do you agree or disagree?

Scientists and technology experts are more valuable to society than artists.To what extent do you agree with this view?

Many people say that globalization and the growing number of multinational companies have a negative effect on the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.