Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career while others believe that it’s better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
It
is often argue
that a few individual thinks that Change the verb form
is often argued
job
Correct article usage
a job
after
straight from Change preposition
apply
the
school is the best Correct article usage
apply
while
a few person
Change to a plural noun
people
opions
that Correct your spelling
believe
education
at university is the best route to become
a successful Wrong verb form
becoming
person
nowadays.
This
essay will discuss both views . In my opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
it's
totally Unnecessary verb
it
depend
on Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
the
personal Correct article usage
apply
interest
. Either, it's take
an Wrong verb form
taking
interest
in bussiness
or maybe wants to gain more Correct your spelling
business
knowledge
for his successful carrer
.
On Correct your spelling
career
one
hand, Correct article usage
the one
Education
plays a vital role in a
development of society. For Correct article usage
the
successful
Add an article
the successful
a successful
carrier
, Correct your spelling
career
individual
needs to work hard on Correct article usage
an individual
studies
. Correct pronoun usage
their studies
his studies
her studies
Although
, Without proper Correct word choice
However
knowledge
and hard it is not possible to achieve the milestone. All the department, which make the pillars of society, needs an
extra background Correct article usage
apply
knowledge
. To attain these person
needs to be studied until graduation.
For instance
, A well known
scientist Add a hyphen
well-known
Dr abdul
Correct your spelling
Dr. Abdul
qadir
( pakistani scientist ) who is the first one that Change the capitalization
Qadir
helps
the country Wrong verb form
help
to
make atomic power first time in Verb problem
apply
the
history . He had done PHD in Correct article usage
apply
Correct article usage
a nulear
nulear
subject . Correct your spelling
nuclear
Thats
all because of his Correct your spelling
That's
education
and knowledge
.
Thus
, It is proved that Correct article usage
a successfull
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful career
carrer
comes with dedication, as well as
education
.
On the other hand
, a few people who do not have any interest
in studies, it does not mean that they do not have a successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
carrer
. Some persons have Correct your spelling
career
interest
in Correct article usage
an interest
bussiness
by birth or from family exposure. Correct your spelling
business
Additionaly
, some Correct your spelling
Additionally
person
dropped out the school in their early lives.
For example
, A pakistani
Change the capitalization
Pakistani
bussiness
man shahid Correct your spelling
business
khan
Capitalize word
Khan
who
lived in Correct pronoun usage
apply
america
. He dropped Change the capitalization
America
the
school Change preposition
out the
on
a very early stage of their studies. He joins the spare part company as an Change preposition
at
emoloye
. After Correct your spelling
employee
employer
few
years, He learned many skills . Later on, He takes part in one of Correct article usage
a few
most
important Correct article usage
the most
invention
, "Invention of Fix the agreement mistake
inventions
spare
part of Correct article usage
the spare
Correct article usage
the toyota
toyota
Change the capitalization
Toyota
vehivcle
". Nowadays, He is a Correct your spelling
vehicle
vehicles
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
bussiness
man.
Correct your spelling
business
Hence
it is proved that at some point you don't need any education
for success .
Long story short, To summarize that, the
Correct article usage
a
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful career
carrer
depends only on dedication,motivation and courage to do any thing
. But, you just have Correct your spelling
anything
a
good intentions.Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
Submitted by muhammadahtsham457 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Grammar
Work on grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. While your ideas are clear, several grammatical errors detract from the overall clarity of your essay. For example, subject-verb agreement and plural forms need attention. Instead of 'It is often argue that a few individual thinks,' you should write 'It is often argued that some individuals think.'
Coherence
Enhance cohesion by using a greater variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. For instance, use words like 'Firstly,' 'Moreover,' and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader through your argument.
Coherence
Refine your introduction and conclusion. A stronger introduction should clearly state the topic and your position. For example, 'This essay will discuss both views and argue that the choice depends on an individual's interests and career goals.' Similarly, the conclusion could be clearer and more concise, summarizing the key points and restating your position.
Content
Your examples are relevant and provide a solid foundation for your arguments. Notably, the examples of Dr. Abdul Qadir and Shahid Khan demonstrate how both paths can lead to success.
Content
Your main points are well-supported, which adds credibility to your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.