Some people think that adults should learn practical skills by themselves, while others believe that learning from a teacher in a classroom is better. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In today's world, there is an ongoing debate about whether
adults
should absorb
pratical
Correct your spelling
practical
skills
on
Change preposition
from
show examples
themselves or from a
teacher
. From my perspective, learning by themselves is the best choice for them for several compelling reasons. It is understandable that some people tend to learn
skills
from a
teacher
in a classroom. To
began
Change the form of the verb
begin
show examples
with, it is inevitable that learning from
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
is the most efficient way. With well-experienced teachers, who are able to pass on their work-relating tips people are able to grasp the points immediately, helping them to learn in a short time.
Furthermore
,
adults
are forced to review their
skills
with the supervision of the
teacher
, which ensures
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
keep
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
and improving.
However
, I believe
adults
learing
Correct your spelling
learning
learn
practical
skills
by themselves is better.
Firstly
, picking up the practical
skills
by themselves
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
far more impressive than learning from others, which leads to
a deeply
Correct word choice
deep
show examples
learning. By exploring every
steps
Change to a singular noun
step
show examples
of the
skills
on their own, all of the tips and knowledge can be deeply stored in their brain.
Secondly
, self-learning fosters
adults
' ability
of tackling
Replace the preposition
to tackle
show examples
problems, as they have to address difficulties solely. For
instances
Fix the agreement mistake
instance
show examples
,
while
a marketing worker is dealing with
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
hurdle of failing to promote the products well, she is cultivating the courage and the mindset
of solving
Change preposition
to solve
show examples
the problems, which benefits her a lot. In conclusion,
although
some people think that learning from
teacher
Add an article
the teacher
a teacher
show examples
is a sensible choice, I confirmly agree with learning independently
due to
the positive impacts which are brought from
this
measure.
Submitted by apple31028 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
There are some grammatical errors and typos, such as 'pratical' instead of 'practical', 'began' instead of 'begin', and 'confirmly' instead of 'firmly'. Improving your proofreading would help enhance the essay's overall quality.
support examples
It would strengthen the argument to include more specific examples and real-life scenarios to support your main points. For instance, particular case studies, statistics, or personal anecdotes could provide concrete evidence.
style
Some sentences are slightly repetitive or redundant, such as 'for several compelling reasons'. Try to vary your sentence structure and avoid repeating similar phrases to keep the reader engaged.
introduction
The introduction clearly sets up the debate and establishes your position, which is well-maintained throughout the essay.
logical structure
Your argument is logically structured, with each paragraph addressing a different aspect of the debate and leading the reader through your line of reasoning effectively.
conclusion
You have a clear conclusion that summarizes your points and restates your opinion, providing closure to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-discipline
  • resourcefulness
  • personalized pacing
  • structured guidance
  • inefficient techniques
  • detrimental
  • immediate feedback
  • progression path
  • social interactions
  • collaborative learning
  • geographical limitations
  • financial costs
  • balanced approach
  • mitigating drawbacks
What to do next:
Look at other essays: