IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. What are the reasons? Solutions to change negative attitudes.

#people #tourism #country #change #attitudes
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In contemporary life, It is widely argued that global tourism has disadvantages for
their
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the
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 nation. There are a number of reasons behind
this
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 point of view and several solutions should be proposed to change these oppositional attitudes There are two primary reasons why international tourism has a negative impact on a nation.
Firstly
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, It directly correlates to the environment,which means that many tourists litter illegally around habitat or along the beach.
This
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 can be seriously harmful
for
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to
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 soil and water which
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
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 in a great deal of negative ramifications afterwards.
In addition
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, the number of international tourists has a tendency
of
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apply
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not
respecting
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to respect
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 the local culture. Take a church or pagoda as a shining example, they wear unsuitable clothes and
behavior
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behaviour
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 when they come around there, leading to an uncomfortable attitude from local residents.
However
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, measures must be taken by the government to deal with these consequent problems. The first feasible solution is that the government should raise awareness to citizens about the mass benefits including rising income, employment or other great advantages from international visitors. Another viable resolution is that the government can implement the instructor of regulation or rule in certain destinations which
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inappropriate clothing or
behavior
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behaviour
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. In conclusion,
it is clear that
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 there are various reasons for global tourism, and steps need to be taken to tackle
this
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 problem.
Submitted by okookk123456 on

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task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and provides reasons and solutions, which is good. However, ensure that each point is fully developed with clear ideas and more detailed examples. For instance, expand on how exactly littering impacts soil and water, or provide more context regarding respect for local culture.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is quite good, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the connection between sentences can be improved. For instance, using more transition words could enhance the flow between ideas, making the essay smoother to read.
coherence cohesion
To enhance the overall coherence, try to provide more supporting details for the main points. This can help in strengthening your arguments and making your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong introduction and conclusion, clearly stating your standpoint and summarizing the essay effectively.
task achievement
You made a good attempt at addressing both reasons and solutions, which shows a well-rounded understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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