IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

"The qualities a person needs to become successful in today's world cannot be learned at a university or similar academic institution. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

#qualities #person #world #university #institution #disagree？
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I believe that
success
 is not about how much you learn or how much you have money, people need to realize that everyone has their own challenges, and the point of
success
 is to face and overcome their struggles and never give up on dreaming. in my opinion, I completely agree that education
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
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our life and
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
a
Correct pronoun usage
us a
show examples
high ability to have a good job,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the other hand I can not deny the fact that education is not everything to get the successful you want, some people have not learned at a university but their mindset is better than dozens of students at university, so no one can call a particular situation its successes and the other is not just because of their education. some
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 need to change their mind about what is the
success
 and what
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 about because everyone
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 their own idea about what
success
 and no one can judge if you get the
success
 or not.
Submitted by h.b.s12301 on

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coherence cohesion
Strengthen your introduction and provide a clear conclusion to enhance the essay's structure. Ensure they include the main points discussed.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will give your arguments more weight and make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
Clarify your main points and ensure each paragraph has a clear focus. This will make your ideas easier to follow.
task achievement
The essay acknowledges both the value of education and the notion that success is subjective, which shows a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
The writer emphasizes the importance of overcoming personal challenges and having a strong mindset, which are insightful points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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