IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The upper
graph
Use synonyms
 indicates rates of
households
Use synonyms
 which have washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
,
Use synonyms
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 and vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
 respectively. The lower
graph
Use synonyms
 shows the trend which is
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of hours for housekeeping in a week. Each figure
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 the result which is investigated from 1920 to 2019. On the upper
graph
Use synonyms
, in1920, washing machine is
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the first position, which is used by 40
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 of
households
Use synonyms
.
Vacuum
Add an article
The vacuum
A vacuum
show examples
 cleaner is second place, which is 30
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
.
Use synonyms
Refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
Refrigerators
show examples
 exist in only a few
households
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
, in 2019, almost all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
households
Use synonyms
 have
Use synonyms
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
. The usage rate of
Use synonyms
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 is gradually growing
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, and 70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
households
Use synonyms
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 in 2019. On the lower
graph
Use synonyms
,
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
 of hours for housekeeping is decreasing, and in 2019, housekeeping time is
one fifth
Add a hyphen
one-fifth
show examples
 of in 1920. The number is smallest between 1920 and 2019. The higher the usage rate of is electric application, the lower the number of hours of household.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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Linking words: Add more linking words.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, households, refrigerator with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • household appliances
  • time-efficient
  • labour-saving devices
  • technological innovations
  • ownership rate
  • housework chores
  • domestic workload
  • automation
  • advancements
  • trend analysis
  • societal shifts
  • economic impact
  • durability
  • lifespan of appliances
  • maintenance
  • historical comparison
  • time allocation
  • drudgery reduction
  • energy consumption
  • disruption in trends
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