Some people think that reading stories in books is better than watching TV or playing games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the modern world watching
TV
and playing
games
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
more important than reading
stories
books
Correct word choice
and books
show examples
.Few people believe that scanning
stories
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
books
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
best
while
others think that it is very important to play
games
and watch
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will explain why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
agree with the notion that
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
watching and playing
games
is crucial for
children
. on one hand, reading different types of
stories
book is a very good habit that enables
children
to cope with different types of
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
,
enhance
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enhances
show examples
their learning capacities,
deep
Correct word choice
and deep
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learning and is a source of information.
This
is because when
children
scan multiple
stories
books
they learn how to handle a problem,they learn different strategies
as well as
gain information about different characters.
For instance
,famous
stories
books
like ALI BABA ,
ALADIN
Correct word choice
and ALADIN
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KA CHIRAG are read by
children
around the world.
therefore
reading
stories
and telling
books
play a vital role in learning .
on the other hand
,proponents of watching
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
and playing
games
argue that it holds a greater importance than reading
stories
Correct word choice
and book
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book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
due to
their impact on individual physical health and better understanding.
This
is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
children
enjoy playing
games
and watching
TV
, it keeps them healthy and fit
as well as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
improves their
undesatnding
Correct your spelling
understanding
of things
.
Correct your spelling
For
for example
, a survey has shown that 70% of
children
in Pakistan spend their time
to watch
Change the verb form
watching
show examples
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
and playing
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
outside the home .
this
suggest that watching
tv
and playing game outweigh the benefits of reading
books
.
To sum up
,it is true that watching
TVtv
Correct your spelling
TV
and pl, playing
games
is
beneficial
Correct quantifier usage
more beneficial
show examples
than reading
books
so
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
strongly agree with the statement that watching
TV
and playing
games
is much
imperative
Correct quantifier usage
more imperative
show examples
than scanning
stories
books
Correct word choice
and books
show examples
.
Submitted by madihaali8470 on

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Task Achievement
The essay covers both sides of the argument, but it needs more depth in explaining the advantages of watching TV and playing games. Provide more detailed examples and explanations to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas by using clearer paragraph transitions. Make sure each paragraph elaborates fully on a single point rather than mixing ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to grammar, punctuation, and capitalization to enhance readability. For example, usage of 'tv' instead of 'TV' and issues with spacing between words.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the issue and attempts to explain both sides of the argument, which is commendable.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, and the basic structure of the essay is clear.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • imagination stimulation
  • linguistic skills
  • audiovisual stimuli
  • interactive learning
  • digital literacy
  • solitary engagement
  • narrative comprehension
  • educational content
  • screen time
  • attention span
  • multimedia experiences
  • well-rounded development
  • motor skills
  • traditional versus modern
  • balanced approach
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