IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People in all modern societies use drugs, but today’s youth are experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasingly early age. Some sociologists claim that parents and other members of society often set a bad example. Discuss the causes and some effects of widespread drug use by young people in modern day society. Make any recommendations you feel are necessary to help fight youth drug abuse.

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The number of
people
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 who do
drugs
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 both legally and illegally has been increasing, especially with the
youth
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, who have been experimenting with them. I think that the parents and other members of society have set a bad example. We all know illegal
drugs
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 affect us in a bad way both mentally and physically. One of the major reasons for
this
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 is the availability of these
drugs
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 and how easily they can be acquired. In my opinion, the
youth
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 is
also
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 being influenced by music artists and TV shows which promote
drugs
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while
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 making them look cool.
Furthermore
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, the easy availability of
drugs
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in addition
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 to the rush it gives gets the
youth
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 addicted to them. For experimenting with legal
drugs
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, the
youth
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 has started to bribe pharmacists and fake prescriptions which can get them access to legal
drugs
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. In a study conducted in the US, it showed that 80% of
people
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 who do
drugs
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 are put
into
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under
show examples
 pressure and are forced to do
drugs
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 as it makes them look like the leader of the group. I would like to provide a few solutions for
this
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 problem,
Firstly
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, The punishment for selling
drugs
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 should become harsher
while
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also
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 checking for drug dealers around colleges as
that is
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 where most
people
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 start doing
drugs
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.
Moreover
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, regular checking of inventory in pharmacies should be done so
people
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 cannot abuse legal
drugs
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.
People
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 should become aware of the company they are with as it is usually the
people
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 around them who get them hooked on
drugs
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.
Lastly
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, teenagers should be taken to a
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rehabilitation
rehabilition
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rehabilitation
 centre so they can see the effects of long exposure to
drugs
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic well but could be more comprehensive. Consider expanding on your points and providing more depth.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one. Using clear transition words and phrases can improve the flow.
writing skill
Your introduction sets the stage, but end your essay with a strong conclusion summarizing your main points and providing a final thought.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and data to strengthen your arguments. Doing so could make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear understanding of the causes and effects of youth drug use.
task achievement
You offer practical recommendations to combat youth drug abuse, which adds value to your essay.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, and you make valid points about the influence of society and peers on youth drug use.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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