Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
While
some people
think video
games
are harmless fun and can be a tool for education, some believe that video
games
can have negative effects on those who play them. I think they have equal positive and negative impacts on players.
Video
games
can have disadvantages and bring physical health problems. This
types of Correct determiner usage
These
games
are really attractive and when someone is engaged them
, he may lose track of time. Change preposition
in them
As a result
, they would spend long hours on these games
while
they gaze on monitor
and sit on a chair. Add an article
the monitor
a monitor
This
sedentary lifestyle can damage their health and cause skeletal and eye problems.
In addition
, many video
games
have violent contents
which are harmful Fix the agreement mistake
content
for
Change the preposition
to
the
young Correct article usage
apply
people
. These contents have negative effects on teenager's behaviour, and launch them to treat at a negative way.
On the other hand
, video
games
can affect positively. For example
, learning a new language can be difficult for many people
. By using video
games
, they can easily be educated a
language and even more in an attractive approach. Change preposition
in a
Furthermore
, consideing
the high speed of life in Correct your spelling
considering
this
modern world, people
require the ability of
quick Change preposition
to
problem solving
. Add a hyphen
problem-solving
Video
games
provide this
chance for them to process challenges quickly and find a better solution.
In conclusion, although
some people
think video
games
are harmless and have benefits such
as educating people
, other
believe Fix the agreement mistake
others
these
new generation of Correct determiner usage
the
games
hava
negative effects on Correct your spelling
has
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
such
as physical health problem
. I strongly Fix the agreement mistake
problems
belive
that by using them correctly, they have equal positive and negative impacts.Correct your spelling
believe
Submitted by hg1984 on
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task achievement
Try to elaborate on your main points with more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention specific studies or incidents linking video games to health issues or benefits.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next. Use linkers and transitional phrases to enhance the cohesion of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with grammatical accuracy such as subject-verb agreement ('These contents have... and launch them to treat in a negative way' should be 'These contents have... and lead teenagers to behave in a negative way').
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
You address both sides of the argument, making your response balanced and well-rounded.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.