IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extend do you agree or disagree with thos statement?

#future #nobody #newspapers #books #thos
Today’s swift developing world is foreshadowing inferior purchasing of printed news and books in years to come
due to
 ubiquitous
electronical
Correct your spelling
electronic
 devices
people
 utilize in order to read. I am profoundly in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 switching from outdated methods of reading to new ones because it will be more convenient in conjunction with the ability
keeping
Change the verb form
to keep
show examples
 many
people
 in the loop way faster.
To begin
 with, nowadays information on paper holders is vigorously
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
 owing to its inconvenience since
people
 need to put efforts to buy it, finding a book shop on the street.
Thus
 smartphones, laptops, etc. will become a great alternative because the process
to get
Change preposition
of getting
show examples
 a brand--new book or a newspaper only requires to
tap
Replace the word
tapping
show examples
 on the screen of a device, without doing any unnecessary actions.
Moreover
, it will become a good perk for individuals with
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
 budget. Correspondingly, consuming technology
such
 as
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 on
people
’s phones can contribute to
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 rapid way to obtain new information in the sense of being posted of what is occurring around.
In addition
, some
people
 with special abilities that
demands
Correct subject-verb agreement
demand
show examples
 walking will be able to have desirable
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 without even coming out of their houses. To recap the aforementioned, the level of advancement in
technology
Add an article
the technology
show examples
 industry is tremendously rocketing, displacing paper-based books and newspapers
while
 giving an opportunity to do it with better conditions,
for instance
,
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 convenient way of acquiring that
foster
Wrong verb form
fosters
show examples
 getting products sooner.
Submitted by kirkagoglesmail on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, but it could be more concise. Try to state your viewpoint clearly and succinctly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that you stay focused on it. The progression from one idea to another should be smooth and logical.
task achievement
While you've included some reasons and examples, try to make them more specific and detailed. This will strengthen your argument and demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar to avoid confusion. This will help improve the clarity of your ideas.
task achievement
You've provided a clear standpoint on the issue and introduced supporting arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You've addressed the task prompt effectively and stayed relevant to the topic throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: