Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearence. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearence

Hard

work

and

determination

are definitely important

factors

for

success

in life.

However

, other

factors

including

appearence

Correct your spelling

appearance

money

and connections are

also

important for

success

. It is usually a mix of the aforementioned

factors

that

results

Change the verb form

result

show examples

success

. An individual lacking hard

work

and

determination

cannot achieve any meaningful

success

. Consistent efforts over extended periods of time can improve the odds of

success

in any field. Through consistent efforts, a person can develop and improve the skills required to achieve mastery in the chosen field. In turn, mastery can significantly increase the likelihood of

success

Determination

also

plays an important role as the road to

success

is long and filled with hurdles. A person can overcome any hurdles through a strong resolve to succeed.

For example

, hard

work

and

determination

play a key role in a sportsperson's

success

On the other hand

, superficial

factors

including

money

and

appearence

Correct your spelling

appearance

can influence an individual's ability to succeed. These

factors

are important

due to

the perception of the general public which associates looks and

money

with

success

Additionally

, the impact of appearance can be major in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

certain industries

such

as modelling and acting.

For example

, a very attractive aspiring actor is more likely to be a successful actor than an unattractive peer. The unattractive actor may have to prove their acting skills more than their attractive counterpart. In my opinion,

factors

such

money

and

appearence

Correct your spelling

appearance

are important

although

they are not substitutes for hard

work

and

determination

. I believe hard

work

and

determination

are primary

factors

whereas

the other two are secondary.

However

, the road to

success

becomes much easier for a hardworking and determined individual with looks,

money

or both.

Submitted by nakuleshj1998 on Mon Aug 26 2024

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General

Try to include a broader range of vocabulary to make the essay more engaging.

General

Make sure to further elaborate on the examples used to strengthen your arguments.

Task Achievement

The essay clearly discusses both views and provides a personal opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is solid with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Task Achievement

Main points are well-supported and explained with appropriate examples.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay maintains a consistent and coherent flow of ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearence. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many cities, there is little control on the design and construction of new houses. Some people think that people can choose to build houses in their own styles instead of building them with the same style as the old house style in local areas. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that it is essential to include Physical Education classes in the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children's time is better spent on more academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

nuclear power is far too dangerous, therefore, countries should ban its use and concentrate instead on developing alternative sources such as hydroelectric power and solar energy.to what extent do you agree.