Everyone in the world is wearing the same brand and watching the same TV channels and movies. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?
Every individual in the
world
is wearing the same clothing brand
and enjoying the same TV channels and movies. I think this
is a positive development because utilizing the same thing in the world
and watching the same brand
help to spread solidarity
and peace among the people
around the world
and it is beneficial for the busines
of that Correct your spelling
business
brand
.
When everyone in the world
wear
the same Change the verb form
wears
brand
, it will help to speard
Correct your spelling
spread
solidarity
and peace among the people
. People
while
visiting other countries, will observe people
from that country are
wearing the same clothing or Unnecessary verb
apply
accessorries
Correct your spelling
accessories
brand
like them. It increases the sense of solidarity
among the nations. For instance
, Apple is one of the popular
brands Correct quantifier usage
most popular
among
the Change preposition
in
world
. People
from almost every nations
are Change to a singular noun
nation
familier
with Apple watch, and they utilize it. Correct your spelling
familiar
Therefore
, people
from all over the world
know Apple
Correct article usage
the Apple
brand
as a
most popular Correct article usage
the
brand
and when people
experience this
familiarity, it enhance
the sense of Change the verb form
enhances
solidarity
.
In addition
, if people
from all over the world
use the same brand
, it is good for that particular brand
because they can sell their products a lot. People
, from all across the world
, invest their money on
the same product, which helps to increase their Change preposition
in
sell
. Replace the word
sales
For instance
, people
like the brand
Samsung, and they invest their valuable money on
it, which leads to Change preposition
in
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
the
Change preposition
in the
sell
of that product.
In conclusion, using the same Replace the word
sales
brand
helps to increase the sell and solidarity
among the
nations around the Correct article usage
apply
world
. It is overall
a positive development.Submitted by rahman_rehana on
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task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the task. However, it could benefit from a more detailed exploration of the points raised and more relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction and conclusion. However, some ideas need smoother transitions for better coherence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure there is consistency and clarity in language, e.g., 'speard' should be 'spread' and 'familier' should be 'familiar'. Proofreading for minor errors can make the essay more professional.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task prompt directly and reinforces the positives of uniformity in brand use with two clear main arguments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and summarize the main points effectively, giving the essay a complete structure.
task achievement
The use of examples like Apple and Samsung effectively illustrate the essay's points, making the arguments more relatable.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite