Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

There are competing views on whether to make
changes
in
life
. I believe that making a change
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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may
have
Verb problem
be
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risky but it is way more beneficial in
a
Correct article usage
the
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long term of
life
because people can get important experiences from
changes
Correct article usage
the changes
show examples
they made than they lose. People
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
avoid
from
Change preposition
apply
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the
changes
because
they
Add a verb
they are
they were
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afraid
from
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of
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the risks. Take,
for example
, the shop owners
do
Correct pronoun usage
who do
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not look for
new
Correct article usage
a new
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marketing strategy because they may fear
from
Change preposition
apply
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the
probablity
Correct your spelling
probability
of bankruptcy.
However
, in
a
Correct article usage
the
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long term, they will stay in one position and lose
from
Change preposition
to
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the competition of
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
.
As a result
, other shops that have good strategy will win. In fact, as the billionaire entrepreneur Peter Thiel said, "
in
Capitalize word
In
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a world that's changing so quickly, the biggest risk you can take is not taking any risk".
On the other hand
,
life
is short and it is
boredom
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boring
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unless we cannot make any
changes
in our
life
because change is always
good
Add an article
a good
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thing because it is
only
Correct article usage
the only
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one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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way to succeed in the long run.
For instance
, one of the super
succeeded
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successful
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person
Change to a plural noun
people
show examples
Mark Zuckerberg, when
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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was in
early
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the early
an early
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stage of his experiment of creating
Facebook
Correct article usage
the Facebook
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social
platfrom
Correct your spelling
platform
. He said that "during that time I gave it a shot
everytime
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every time
show examples
whether I failed or not even
it
Correct word choice
if it
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took a long period
time
Change preposition
of time
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". I agree with
this
argument because if the person
stagnent
Correct your spelling
stagnant
for the sake of short-term comfort, they will be
guarenteed
Correct your spelling
guaranteed
to fail in the longer term and regret
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the past. In conclusion, even though
changes
may have
follow
Verb problem
come
show examples
with
somehow
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
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, in the long
run
Add the comma(s)
run,
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people will benefit from the shift that they made.
Therefore
, change is always
good
Add an article
a good
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thing and makes our
life
more interesting.
Submitted by baigalnarantuya1 on

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task achievement
Work on sentence structure to avoid occasional awkward phrasing and improve clarity.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and specific examples to support arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical flow between points for better coherence, maybe use linking words like 'furthermore', 'however', etc.
task achievement
The conclusion succinctly ties all points and reinforces the main argument effectively.
task achievement
Multiple viewpoints are discussed, showing a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • stagnation
  • routine
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • specialization
  • innate
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • fast-paced
  • new horizons
  • equilibrium
  • progress
  • dynamic
  • transformation
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