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Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people say success in a person’s life as an adult is the result of the way he was brought up by his parents. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #success #person’s #life #adult #parents
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In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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 to agree or disagree with the statement Some people say
success
Use synonyms
 in a person’s life as an adult is the result of the way he was brought up by his
parents
Use synonyms
 is an important issue to discuss
first,
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I will present agreement supporting
this
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 description, after which some aspects against that will be discussed. On the one
hand
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hand,
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 to agree with
the
Remove the article
apply
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this
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 statement for many critical reasons the most important is that Education from a young age by
parents
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 .
During to education
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Education
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 and learning together
most
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are most
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 important to growth
people
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of people
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according to
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researcher
Fix the agreement mistake
researchers
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 If a child is raised correctly from the beginning, he will be important in
growth
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growing
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 society. On the other
hands
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hand
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,some people oppose
with
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apply
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this
Linking Words
 explanation for many reasons the most critical
reasons
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reason
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 is that it depends very time
abut
Correct your spelling
about
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parents
Use synonyms
 and
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
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 difficult
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 society. I agree that upbringing plays a significant role in a person's
success
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 as an adult.
Parents
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 can influence the values,
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
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, and social skills that a child acquires. If a child is raised in a supportive and encouraging environment, they are likely to develop self-confidence and the ability to face challenges.
However
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, it's important to note that
success
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also
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 depends on other factors
such
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 as opportunities, social environment, and personal efforts. So
while
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 upbringing is important, it is not the only factor that determines
success
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by um.maktoum2014 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly divide your essay into distinct paragraphs for the introduction, body, and conclusion. This will make your essay more organized and easier to follow.
task achievement
Provide specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will help to strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
Work on developing your main ideas more comprehensively. Make sure to explain your points thoroughly to make your argument clearer.
coherence cohesion
Review your introduction and conclusion to ensure they effectively summarize the main points of the essay. A clear opening statement and a concise conclusion can better frame your discussion.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to discussing the topic.
task achievement
The writer's stance is clearly expressed, making it easy to understand their perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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